MCU Rank & Review: Part Five: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Runtime: 02:04:08

Total Runtime: 10:02:07

 

Here we are now with the first installment of the first (and only so far) consistently great trilogy of films. Also, this is the first and only period piece MCU film, unless you count the 90's as a "period," then "Captain Marvel" counts as well. Also also, the birth of America's ass.

Also also also, our movie opens with the revelation of Captain America being found in some ice. In the present day. We then go all the way back to 1941, World War II in full swing. A very skinny Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) wants to be a soldier, but can't, cause he's a skinny boy.

Though he may be small, he makes up for it with his bravery and smarts. This skinny Steve is probably my only issue with the movie. It's a well-done effect in that you can't tell it's an effect. Basically, they took Chris Evans' body and shrunk it down using computer magic.

Instead of the body double/superimposed head, the filmmakers used a “shrinking” technique and computers to basically erase portions of Evans' strong physique on screen. “We filmed over 250 shots of Chris and used digital technology to 'shrink' him down to what we called 'Skinny Steve,'” said Johnston. (Source)

Only that at points his head is way too big for his tiny body. The acting is great, the writing is great, the directing is great. But sometimes little baby Steve looks weird (to me) and it distracts from the story.

Steve tells a guy in a theater to be respectful to the military and gets beat up. he can "do this all day," but Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) shows up and shoos the bully away. In Germany, we see Nazis blow up a wall. They are led by Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), and he has a cool Hydra pin. Hydra, for those still unaware, are a secret organization in the Marvel Universe that wants to take over the world. They steal the Tesseract from people that were safeguarding it on Earth.

It's worth pointing out that this is the first, and only, pro-military film. This is because the US military during WWII were the good guys, but now, they're just greedy people looking to make themselves rich - apparently. Moving forward, we see a young Howard Stark, played in this movie, and in the Peggy Carter series, by Dominic Cooper instead of the usual John Slattery. Stark is displaying his flying car prototype and states they're a few years away. I guess a few years is more than eighty, cause they still aren't a thing in the MCU unless you count that Wakanda tech as cars.

Steve meets with a doctor during his next attempt to join the military. Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) offers him a chance to join the army. Rogers accepts. He goes through a series of trials with other candidates for a Super Soldier program. Here he meets Colonel Chester Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) and Agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell). Back in Germany, we see Schmidt and Dr. Arnim Zola (Toby Jones) trying to harness the power of the Tesseract, they succeed.

In the tests, Steve proves to be the weakest and the smartest candidate. He's in the last place in every physical test, but, he successfully performs a task that no one has ever done before by taking the pole down to retrieve a flag, while every other person tried to climb the pole. He proves his bravery when Phillips throws a fake grenade into the group of test subjects and he willingly chooses to sacrifice himself for everyone's safety. But, "he's still skinny." 

Back in Germany again, Johann is getting his portrait taken, the red paint hinting at his true identity as Red Skull. Meanwhile, Steve is chosen as the candidate to receive the Super Soldier Serum. He comes out stronger and taller.

The pec touch by Peggy was apparently completely improvised (source) which is quite funny and greatly humanizes the character. Hydra attacks the testing facility, kills Dr. Abraham, and steals a serum vial. Steve chases the guy down, breaks him out of his escape submarine, and destroys the vial in the process. The hydra agent states that he is "the first of many. Cut off one head, two shall take its place. Hail Hydra." 

For some reason, Phillips doesn't want Steve to be a soldier, because "he's just one man" and he "wanted an army." So Steve does a propaganda tour and punches Hitler a lot.

His propaganda tour is accompanied by the reveal that Captain America comics exist in this universe, more propaganda, just like the original Captain America comic, whose cover is also shown in the movie in the hands of some kids. Complete with Hitler punching action. 

Steve hates not being a soldier, and the soldiers don't like him being a propaganda machine. Steve learns that Bucky's battalion was taken captive and he wants to go save them. Phillips says no, cause Steve is a "Chorus girl." Peggy and Howard fly Steve out to rescue the POWs. Steve frees them and finds Bucky in the process - Bucky subtly reciting code words that brainwash him into becoming the Winter Soldier. Johann Schmidt takes off his face and reveals his Red Skull.

Steve is now honored as a good soldier boy. His newfound war hero status earns him some cred with the ladies and is kissed by a girl that isn't Peggy Carter, and Peggy sees and gets mad. She shoots at his new Vibranium shield for revenge. Steve is supposed to receive the Medal of Honor, but no shows to be a better soldier boy. A montage of Steve and his Howling Commandos happens and we see Steve keeps a picture of Peggy in his compass. Red Skull is shown to be mad, Hugo Weaving's acting is deliciously over-the-top.

The Commandos eventually arrive at a mission to retrieve Dr. Zola from a train. It goes bad. bucky falls from the train, but they successfully capture Zola. Before falling from the train Bucky picks up the shield. First hints at his possible taking of the mantle, which no longer appears to be the direction we're heading. But it's a good tease for comic fans, none the less.

Zola sells out Red Skulls location. Steve makes the plan to "knock on his front door" and they infiltrate the mountain base. There's a big fight, Steve is captured, but it's a trap! Steve chases Red Skull and Peggy kisses Steve before he jumps on the plane to confront Red Skull.

Red Skull picks up the Tesseract with his bare hands, and he is sky beamed into space. Steve can't safely stop the plane, so he rainchecks his dance with Peggy "next Saturday at eight" and crashes into the arctic where he naps for 70 years.

Howard searches for him but only finds the Tesseract. He keeps searching but never finds him. Steve wakes up in 2010, only he's in a fake room masquerading as the past. SHIELD makes a mistake by playing a game from Steve's past as if it's currently happening and blows their cover - Steve bolts. he's in modern-day Time's Square and looks really confused.

Fury shows up and tells him he's "been asleep for almost seventy years." Post credits he breaks a punching bag and Fury asks him to help save the world and we get a teaser trailer for "The Avengers" - Coming next summer.

The issues I have here are the same issues I had with "Iron Man," only this movie has a better climax. The romance here, between Peggy and Steve, is the only romance more believable in the MCU than Tony and Pepper. The CGI of skinny Steve is the only "real" flaw for me, it distracts slightly removing me from the story.

Official MCU 23 film ranking:

1. Captain America: The First Avenger
2. Iron Man
3. Thor
4. Iron Man 2
5. The Incredible Hulk

Next in the line-up: "The Avengers" (2012)

MCU Rank & Review: Part Four: Thor (2011)

Runtime: 01:54:49

Total Runtime: 07:57:59

I've been looking forward to this one since I started. The "Thor" series of films hold a soft-spot in my heart. I recognize that both the first and the second to a greater extent, aren't the better films in the series. It's likely due to my interests in mythologies. 

This was the one that I went back to and watched the most in the early 2010s, most likely due to my longstanding crush on Natalie Portman. Thanks, "V for Vendetta."

This is also the beginning of the MCU's exploration of Marvel's cosmic side. Not quite in full, like "Guardians of the Galaxy" will in 2014, but the start none the less.

We open the movie with our science trio Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård), and intern Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings). They are investigating a string of "atmospheric disturbances" supposed to come off as "subtle aurora," as stated by Selvig. But instead, they find a sky-beam-tornado and crash into a man, later revealed to be Thor. "Where did he come from?"

Following this brief opening scene, we receive narration from Odin (Anthony Hopkins) who tells of the story of the Gods, why humans worship them, as well as their conquering of the Frost Giants. We then see Odin with a young Thor and Loki overlooking the Frost Giant weapon-box-thing, The Casket of Ancient Winters. Here we see the first hints at Thor's arrogance as he wants to slay all the Ice Giants, and Odin tries to sway him away from causing a war, warning him instead to simply be prepared for one. We then fast forward to Thor's would-be coronation as King, cockiness in full display here.  

His coronation is cut short by the arrival of three Frost Giants, and they want their weapon-box-thing so they can use their ice powers more effectively against Asgard and start a war. The plan caught by Odin, cause he's the All-Father and he knows all and sees all with his one eye. Odin summons The Destroyer, a big metal fire breathing robot-thing, and it kills the Frost Giants.

Thor does not take too kindly to the Frost Giant invasion and wants to go to war. Odin says no, and Thor pouts and flips a table. Loki (Tom Hiddleston), gets in Thor's ear and says "Hey bro, forget what dad said let's go mess up the Frost Giants" - Only in a less obvious way. Thor falls for Loki's ploy and brings along his best buddies Lady Sif (Jamie Alexander) and the Warriors Three to Jötunheim. The Warriors Three being  Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), Hogun (Tadanobu Asano), and Fandral (Josh Dallas).

They go and beat up the Frost Giants, only to eventually be overwhelmed. King Laufey (Colm Feore) of the Frost Giants is not happy, but Odin comes in to save the day. Pappa Odin isn't happy with Thor disobeying and almost causing another war. Thor wants the War. Odin gets madder at Thor's arrogance and takes away his sweet powers. Thor is banished to Earth along with Mjölnir and he is promptly hit by an RV.

Herein lies my main issue with the first two "Thor" movies that I didn't initially have with them. While on Asgard it's too "Shakespearey."  That should be expected with the first one, especially with Branagh directing, but it doesn't coincide with the tone of the rest of the film. The second film, which we'll get more into later is similar in this regard, and likely because they didn't know what to do with it so they decided to do the same thing again, only different. Which is why "Thor: Ragnarok" ended up working so well in comparison. 

I thoroughly enjoy "Thor." Its laughs are great, they come at the right moments, the movie is well directed. It's just two different movies. Once you get past that, if you can, it's good. The fish out of water aspect of Thor's story on Earth is fantastic. Him acting like a Viking and being cocky and arrogant all the time is consistently funny, and likely only due to the charisma of Hemsworth in the role.

The other Earth characters are great too, however pointless they are so far. They all continue on into the sequel and other films of the MCU, Selvig also appearing in "The Avengers," and Jane set to return in "Thor: Love and Thunder," Darcy too, is set to return in the Disney+ series "Wandavision" (releasing January 15, 2021). 

Side not on the Disney+ shows and other MCU related television, I may do reviews of the Streaming shows (Netflix and Disney+) on top of these twenty-three (+) movies. But I haven't fully decided yet, as it's quite an undertaking as There are thirteen seasons of six different shows out on Netflix already totaling 161 episodes. If anything those will be used as filler between future movies.

Back to our regularly non-scheduled review. The Earth homies are great, especially in contrast with Thor's Asgardian-ness. Darcy, while she may be the most pointless supporting character in all the MCU, is also, one of the best. 

Her sole purpose, seemingly, is to deliver comic relief in this non-comedy focused MCU film. Selvig is a skeptical scientist who believes the science and not the magic stuff. Jane, like Selvig, starts off that way but is convinced by Thor that Science and Magic are one and the same, at least on Asgard.

Back with the plot, the science trio goes to the hospital after hitting him to get answers from Thor. Only to hit him again after his escape from said hospital - Laugh, it's funny. Meanwhile, a bunch of rednecks find Mjölnir in a crater and have a "try to lift the hammer" party. Redneck Stan Lee tries with his truck and loses the bed. On Asgard, Loki learns he is a Frost Giant baby, son to Laufey, and promptly yells at daddy Odin who decides to go to sleep instead of yelling back.

Back with the main four, Thor want's ANOTHER! coffee then leaves to find Mjölnir. Darcy, not knowing of Mjölnir, called it myuh-myuh, or mew-mew - laugh, it's funny. Selvig calls Thor a crazy person cause God's aren't real, at least not the Norse ones anyway, they're "children stories." 

SHIELD shows up and takes all their scientific research for reasons that aren't given. National Security does not count as a reason, that's a vague excuse for being a dick, Coulson. Loki takes over as King in Asgard and doesn't let Thor come back at the request of Thor's Asgardian friends. Thor goes to a pet store and asks for a horse, but will settle for a dog/cat big enough to ride. Laugh, it's funny!

Jane takes him to the crater instead of Thor riding a giant dog. Only Thor can't lift the hammer. Also, Hawkeye is in this movie for like, 2 minutes - cool.

Broken by his unworthiness Thor is taken into custody by SHIELD. Loki visits him and lies (what a shock) about Odin being dead and their mother, Frigga (Rene Russo) forbidding Thor's return. Loki tries to lift Mjölnir but definitely isn't worthy. Selvig has a change of heart and rescues Thor claiming he's Dr. Donald Blake, gone mad after all his lovely research was stolen by them.

Here we have a call back to Thor's original comic book origins. Donald Blake was his alter ego, the person he would be instead of Thor on Earth, literally transforming between the two. Mjölnir even disguised as a walking stick. The whole movie is a rather faithful modern portrayal of the classic "no longer worthy" origin of Thor's involvement on Earth.

Moving along with the plot. Thor explains how all nine of the realms work to Jane. Heimdall helps Lady Sif and the Warriors Three go to Earth. Loki unleashes The Destroyer to go kill Thor and the warriors so he can stay king forever before he lets Laufey come kill Odin. Thor, to save all his Earth and Asgardian friends, faces the Destroyer weaponless, becoming worthy in doing so. Thor defeats the Destroyer summoning a tornado and shoving Mjölnir down its throat which causes it to explode from a build-up of its fire breath.

Thor returns to Asgard after aligning himself with SHIELD, through the best agent "son of Coul," set up for "The Avengers." 

Loki does a double-cross on his alliance with Laufey upon Thor's arrival to save face and kills Laufey before he manages to kill Odin. Odin wakes up from his all-sleep. Thor and Loki fight. Loki's real plan was to destroy Jötenheim to earn Odin's favor and be accepted as a real Odinson. Thor breaks the rainbow bridge, which strands him on Asgard leaving him unable to return to smooch Jane some more. 

Loki and Thor begin to fall and Odin saves them. Loki chooses to fall somewhere into space when his attempts to impress daddy failed. The movie ends with Thor and Jane, on Asgard and Earth respectively, being sad they can't smooch each other.

Post-credits Selvig meets with Fury and is shown the Tesseract, a magic blue cube of unknown power. Selvig is asked to study it. He accepts with a vision of Loki behind him suggesting Loki is somehow in control of Selvig.

"Thor" has the unfortunate issue of being two films at once, A serious Shakesperean drama about Norse Gods on Asgard, and a semi-serious tale of a Gods search for purpose on Earth. This limits the enjoyment of the film quite a bit and is the main reason it doesn't overtake "Iron Man" in the rankings. It does both movies well, but no movie trying to be more than one movie has ever been good. See "Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker" if you don't believe me, except that one was trying to be three movies.

The comedic moments work for me cause the director gets the timing right. The only issue is, that the comedy does not match the framing tone of the film. That's the issue with the Asgard stuff being taken as seriously as it is, when everything else, isn't. A jumbled mess of tone that leaves everyone confused over what type of movie they're watching.

I'm dreading the day I get to "Thor: The Dark World."

Official MCU 23 film ranking:

1. Iron Man
2. Thor
3. Iron Man 2
4. The Incredible Hulk

Coming up next: "Captain America: The First Avenger" (2011)

MCU Rank & Review: Part Three: Iron Man 2 (2010)

Runtime: 02:04:34

Total Runtime: 06:03:10

Here we are with the first sequel in the MCU as well as the first with cast changes - Don Cheadle replacing Terrance Howard as James Rhodes, for the better. The primary cast this go-around is slightly larger than Iron Man's last outing, with the additions of Sam Rockwell, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, and Scarlett Johansson. This proves to be a huge mistake.

The bloated cast of "Iron Man 2," most likely a result of studio interference is the main reason this is seen as one of the weaker entries in the franchise. Three new characters are introduced, one character's actor is replaced and written entirely different. Another character, while introduced at the end of "Iron Man," is expanded upon here for the first time. In trying to accomplish all of these character introductions Marvel has stifled the film, limiting its narrative capabilities. Storylines that could, and should have been, their own movies are thrown in here and seemingly thrown away as quickly as they came.

The movie opens with the now, somewhat, traditional MCU opening explaining the origins/reasons the villain hates our hero. In this case, Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) hates Tony because Tony's dad steals Ivan's dad's designs without sharing credit. We then see that Vanko is smart enough to create an arc reactor himself. Putting his genius close to, if not, on par with Tony's.

Following a big Stark Expo entrance, complete with a super-hero landing, we see Tony test his blood for the first time. The test shows he has a blood toxicity level of 19%, performing the test immediately after taking a drink. By having him test here we are lead to believe that it's alcohol, and not due to the palladium. A clear allusion to a famous Iron Man storyline.

"Demon in a Bottle" is a late 70's storyline in the comics that lasted nine issues. It's one of the best storylines in comics, in my opinion, and isn't done true justice here. Exploring Tony's alcoholism, with an actor like Downey who suffers from alcoholism himself could go miles and make a very interesting story. Instead, it's tossed aside after he gets too drunk once and doesn't show how he tries to fix his issues - if he even does.

Perhaps it's my own straight-edge ways leaning too much into an "alcohol bad" mentality, but that was definitely Favreau's intention with Tony's birthday party scene. While "Demon in a Bottle" uses a sort of PTSD of Iron Man's failings to drive him further into his alcoholism, the movie uses the fact that he is slowly dying of blood toxicity levels due to the Palladium core's of his arc reactor in his body.

We move on to a Senate meeting where, for the third film in a row, the evil US Government is trying to turn our heroes into weapons. This is also our introduction to two new characters, Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer, and Don Cheadle's new and improved James Rhodes. Hammer, a bumbling genius, is the best character in the movie, and one of the best characters in the MCU. It's a shame that he has only been exhibited in this bloat of a movie.

Tony's snark and wit are in full swing. Don Cheadle's more reserved Rhodes in this opening scene is already superior to everything that Howard gave in the first film. And Rockwell's buffoonery is adorable and hilarious. Tony makes a joke of the government to the applause of everyone in the room, except for those that would immediately hurt, and his opponents.

I can't be the only one that finds it odd that these movies consistently portray the Government and military in a bad light. It pays off later when Tony eventually sides with the Government after their (the Avengers) failure to save a ton of lives. But until then every Government agent or member of the military (except for Rhodes) is shown to be looking for only their own best interest or to make the US military an unstoppable force to put the entire world at their heel.

The main reason I find this odd is that these movies cater to a few specific audiences. Nerds like me that love super-hero things. And the crowd that wants to turn their brain off and watch an action movie for the fun and explosions. The best of both worlds are typically met in all of the MCU movies at varying levels. I find that anyone I've talked to that is the "shut off brain" type of person, is a very pro-military, gung-ho type of person. Yet, they thoroughly also enjoy these movies that take a negative stance on military involvement. I digress.

Eventually, after learning what's really poisoning Tony, we learn that a goal of the movie is for him to find a new core to his arc reactor, but no known substance is known, according to Jarvis. Tony makes Pepper CEO of Stark Industries, to which she responds "Have you been drinking?" Shortly thereafter we get Scarlett Johannson's introduction as Natalie Rushman, in a fairly hypersexualized scene.

True to the meaning behind who and what Black Widow is, she is supposed to be sexualized. it's her way of infiltration, meant to seduce men into dropping their guard. Which she exhibits by easily taking Happy down. Further shown after her affiliation with SHIELD is revealed telling Tony in Latin, "Fallaces sunt rerum species," loosely meaning "the appearances of things are deceptive." She of course says it means for him to get back to the house before someone has to take him there.

We move on to the Grand Prix de Monaco, serving as the introduction of the central villain, Ivan Vanko's Whiplash. The design is simple, and I love it. It's the best look Whiplash has in the movie and I wish he didn't become Iron Monger with whips at the end and stayed closer to his slick comics design.

Ignoring how Tony survived the crash, this scene also has one of the coolest suit transformations in the MK.V briefcase. It's so simple, of an idea and so perfectly executed. No matter how little sense it makes in suggesting that the suit weighs at most twenty pounds. 

Vanko arrested after the battle with Iron Man is shown to know about Tony's Palladium poisoning, something Tony hasn't told anyone else: "Palladium poisoning is a painful way to die." We are then shown that Vanko is aided in escaping prison, even covering up his death. Hammer wants Vanko's help to show up Tony and get him rich by making suits for the military, Vanko agrees on one condition:

Tony's blood toxicity is at 89% prior to his party scene. This party is basically the extent of "Demon in a Bottle." We've gotten hints at Tony's recklessness, notably putting himself in the Grand Prix without having trained in how to drive the car. The party serves two purposes. Make Tony get drunk enough that it ruins his relationships across the board, and to suit of Rhodes for the first time in the MK I suit.  Rhodes and Tony fight, a drunk Tony loses and flies off. He stops to get donuts, wallowing in a pit of sorrow. 

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to exit the donut," says Fury in his first scene. In the donut shop, we get our first look at a full suit Black Widow (yay!) and the revelation that Tony hasn't exhausted every option he has. After Fury and Natasha (Black Widow's real name) temporarily treat the palladium poisoning, the "Demon in a Bottle" subplot is officially closed after having fifteen minutes of screentime, if that.

Rhodes takes the suit he stole to the military, when he finds out they want to weaponize it, he visibly regrets taking it to them. Hammer shows and offers some upgrades to the suit, which will serve to change the suit to the War Machine design.

Tony is given materials by SHIELD, Coulson is back and is assigned to watch after Tony. He watches an old video of his father involving "the city of tomorrow," which was also featured at the beginning of the movie, only this one has behind the scenes footage. Howard Stark gives Tony a message, stating "my greatest creation... is you" Tony sneaks out to his old office, to make amends with Pepper, his efforts fail. With Happy and Natalie now working for Pepper, he jokes "I've lost both the kids in the divorce." Leaving the office he spies a map that his father had in an old video and takes it home.

Using the scale map he is able to somehow "re-discover" a new element his father apparently also discovered and left how to find it using the map. This element serves to suitably replace the old Palladium core and also cure Tony of his current poisoning levels.

Back at the Stark Expo, Hammer's display of Vanko's robots goes wrong when Vanko betrays Hammer and causes the robots to go on the attack. A kid in an Iron man mask, later revealed to have been PETER PARKER (source), tries to fend them off with Iron Man saving the day. 

This leads directly to the climax of the film, with Tony having to fend off all the Vanko bots and War Machine, until Rhodes gains control. Once they're both in control they make quick work of the Vanko bots with Tony's "one-off" laser beams.

Vanko shows up in his new, way too big, Whiplash suit and beats up Iron Man and War Machine single-handedly with ease after "the ex-wife" fails to do anything. With both of them wrapped in electro-whips, they decide to blast at each other like they did back at the party causing an explosion that defeats Whiplash. This final fight lasts about three minutes.

The movie then goes on to end with Tony seemingly out of the Avenger's initiative as Iron Man is recommended but not Tony. Tony is kept on, "as a consultant." With Tony stating that they "can't afford [him]." Post credits we get our tease of the next MCU movie. I remember eighteen years old me, in May of my senior year of High School watching this and being the only one of my friends nerding out over Mjölnir. Jesus, that was ten years ago.

To put it bluntly, "Iron Man 2" has very bad bloating issues that keep it from being as good as "Iron Man." If they instead removed Black Widow and Nick Fury's involvement in the story and instead made a Black Widow movie (which we are getting now, eleven years later), that would have fixed everything. Studio interference has been heavily alluded to have been the reason that this film seems off, it's an issue that comes back every now and then with their movies, and just recently is the reason Scott Derrickson left the second Doctor Strange film, but we got Sam Raimi out of it. So maybe that's a yay? We'll find out in 2022 unless, of course, covid delays everything another year. 

That being said, it's issues are nowhere near as bad as that of "The Incredible Hulk." The cast is great, all with phenomenal chemistry. Tony and Pepper kiss at the end, continuing their believable romance without a stupid nothing of a love scene. Don Cheadle's Rhodes is a vast improvement on what is one of the only problems from "Iron Man." Rourke is a weaker main villain than Bridges, but the inclusion of Rockwell more than makes up for that.

Official MCU 23 film ranking:

1. Iron Man (2008)
2. Iron Man 2 (2010)
3. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Coming Soon: Thor (2011) 

MCU Rank & Review: Part Two: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

 

Runtime: 01:52:37

Total Runtime: 03:58:36 

Admittedly, one of the primary reasons this series of reviews has taken me so long to start was this movie. It's only the second film in the MCU but is widely viewed as one of the more lackluster films in the franchise, some would even say one of the worst. As was the case with "Iron Man," and will also be the case going forward, I took notes. Fewer notes than "Iron Man," and way less than "Iron Man 2" (which I'll write tomorrow), but still. Notes.

Jumping right into the opening of the film we see a montage showing the origins of the Hulk, without showing the Hulk. We see that his origins are in Gamma radiation testing, differing from his original origins by way of accidental exposure from a weapon test. This origin is more in line with common re-tellings of his beginnings. We see the tests were taking place at Culver University, and that during his transformation he, Bruce (Edward Norton) injures both Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) and General Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt). We also see shots that show that Gen. Ross's search for Banner will utilize Stark Tech through images of the blueprints for the sound wave cannons used later in the film.

We then transition to Brazil, where we see that there hasn't been an incident involving the Hulk in 158 days. We also learn that Bruce practices martial arts to better control his breathing, an attempt to prevent changing into the Hulk, that only really comes into play a few times, and ultimately is something he completely discards at the end of the film. Bruce has been working at a bottling plant to pay for his crummy apartment. He gets cut and kills a Stan Lee with a drop of his Gamma blood that was so obviously on a bottle it could have easily been avoided. 

Therin lies most of my issues with the film, and why I was dreading watching it again for the purposes of this review. The script is poorly executed, and the visuals on the screen don't help. A simple turn of his head could have solved the death that led the soldiers to his location which would have allowed him to stay in hiding relatively indefinitely. The entire movie would have been him in Brazil chatting with Mr. Blue about a cure for the Hulk. But no, we had to kill Stan Lee to further the plot.

The Stan Lee death tells Ross right where he is, so Ross hires Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), a Russian born soldier for the United Kingdom's Royal Marine Commandos - described in his arrival as an "Ace." 

Hulk's intro to the movie, the first live transformation, is treated in a similar vein to a monster movie. One in which the military is fighting an unknown monster. Soldiers getting picked off one by one by some unseen, unstoppable force. Then we see his face, and it's, not great.

It's an improvement on what we got from the last Hulk movie. Though that wouldn't have taken much. This film started the trend of making the Hulk look more like the actor in the role. Unlike the later films though, this one didn't use mo-cap, so the face is way off from where it should be. 

I'm admittedly, not a fan of Ang Lee's "Hulk" from 2003. Making the film look like a comic book was a cool concept, sure, but everything else about it was a wash. Louis Letteier's effort here was at least truer to the character. But something went wrong here, that didn't go wrong with any other recent Hulk film appearance. That issue is the lighting. It's way too inconsistent here, Hulk is constantly lit incorrectly, making him look less realistic, likely done to make him look more green when proper shading would have diluted the color. This is the least green Hulk the MCU has, it's also the least human-looking in muscular structure. 

That being said, following the assault in Brazil, Bruce wakes up in Guatemala, that's a really long walk. 

Blonsky, angry at Ross asks what he was and how he was able to "throw a forklift truck like a softball." Ross spills the beans on how Bruce became the Hulk as a result of experiments to replicate "Biotech Force Enhancement" tests done in World War II, a clear reference to Captain America. Blonsky then states that he is willing to undergo treatments to improve his physical capabilities, Ross doesn't want another Hulk he can't control, he wants a weapon. So they take it slow.

Bruce, now in America by way of Mexico, makes it to that same university and does some light stalking (don't worry, staring at ex-lovers from afar is totally not creepy, guys). He breaks into the computer lab, let in by a student played by Martin Starr - this student grows up to be Peter Parker's science teacher, Roger Harrington (source).

Eventually, they run into Bruce at the campus after he and Betty reunite, who cares about that though, they have no chemistry. Hulk fights the soldiers, destroying everything they have, and hilariously kicks Blonsky into a tree shattering every bone in his body.

Bruce and Betty runoff, eventually have a very unconvincing love scene which turns into a joke cause Bruce "can't get too excited." Betty, mind you, is cheating on her boyfriend, Dr. Leonard Samson (Ty Burrell), who hasn't done anything wrong to even remotely deserve this. In their travels together they get to New York and meet with Mr. Blue, who turns out to be Dr. Samuel Sterns (Tim Blake Nelson). The military, however, is using a SHIELD database, so they also know they're going to see Sterns. 

Dr. Sterns, Bruce, and Betty all test a potential cure for the Hulk. Sterns is possibly the best part of this movie. He's funny and eccentric, literally the opposite of every other character in this movie, which makes the sequel baiting scene of him beginning to change into The Leader, very disappointing as that movie is likely never going to happen.

Blonsky comes in to attack Samuels to do tests on him so that he can become more like the Hulk. But Samuels is okay with it, for the science, and so, Blonsky becomes "an abomination." Abomination looks great. He's just a bigger skeleton-looking Hulk, but that's the problem with most Hulk villains - they're all just alternate Hulks.

The climax here is a bit more eventful than that of the one in "Iron Man," in that more stuff happens, but far less interesting. It's just two big beefcakes smashing things. Which is fun to watch but not all that engaging. Hulk claps some fire away, which is admittedly an awesome image, but sadly, the only thing of note.

Post climax the movie ends with Bruce, now in British Columbia, move from 31 days without Hulking out to 0 through meditation. He has control over the Hulk, or at the very least, the transition. Pre-credits, we get a tease at "Iron Man 2" or "Avengers," with Tony meeting with General Ross to talk with him about "forming a team." There is no post-credits scene, which makes this one of two MCU movies so far to not feature one.

This isn't that great of a movie. It's a sloppy script with some very wooden acting. Liv Tyler and Edward Norton do next to nothing to convince you of their love for one another. Banner's movie long search for a cure just ends with him accepting the Hulk in the last thirty seconds. A would-be future villain, in a movie that isn't going to happen, steals the movie with his five minutes of screen-time because he actually has a personality. 

It's also worth noting that this is the second MCU movie in a row that portrays the military negatively, and it won't be the last. The MCU almost seems to have this need to make the military look bad, almost corrupt, in their attempts to get better, stronger, weapons for world domination, in order to make the heroes look good by going against them. Just have your heroes do good, they don't have to fight the government/military in every movie. Granted, some of this is set-up for the future, so I'll let it slide, for now.

Official MCU 23 film ranking:

1. Iron Man (2008)
2. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Next Up: "Iron Man 2" (2010)