Confessions of a Pokemon Addict

Truth be told, Pokemon X has kept me from returning to this blog for the past few days. It has become my figurative jam.

If you're expecting a review, congratulations, you're going to get a spoiler heavy one. Enjoy. As mentioned in my previous blog post, the game features quite the heap of changes from the previous installment in the series. The best of those changes being that you now gain experience after catching wild Pokemon. So you can catch them all and level up at the same time.

I have no choice but to tip my hat to the Pokemon Company on this decision, it's fantastic - I must have gained like, three total levels across all my party Pokemon because of this feature. So I picked Fennekin, the fire starter, and I regret nothing. Delphox is the shit. but now that I have Mewtwo, I do slightly regret it, because Mewtwo is the shit squared. I had this initial idea of doing a fire team, I was thinking of picking Charmander as my OG starter in Lumiose city, because Mega Charizard X is part dragon and therefore a bad ass. 

Mega Charizard X (left) and Mega Charizard Y (right)

The only real thing I hate about Mega Charizard X, is the blue fire coming out of his mouth. That's it, I love everything else about him. but when it came time to make the decision on which of the OG starters to pick, ultimately I went with Squirtle. I already had a fire flying type in Fletchling, and I don't use grass Pokemon, they are my least favorite type. Fairy is a close second, a lot of the designs for the fairy Pokemon suck, aside from Xerneas. So clearly since I didn't have any water Pokemon yet Squirtle was the obvious choice.

I can't say that I love Mega-Evolutions, they're nice and all, and they don't take up a turn when used, but, why weren't they just like, yeah, let's just give some Pokemon a fourth permanent evolution, it practically is, because you can use it whenever you want. I can throw my Blastoise or Mewtwo out there whenever I want, and just Mega-Evolve them right away in every battle. It's certainly not needed for every battle, and doing that in every battle would admittedly be quite the hindrance, but wouldn't it be nice if it were permanent.  Okay, so, let's play a game.

The game is than now that there are six generations of the game, and therefore six sets of starter Pokemon, you must now choose one starter from each game, and two of each type to make up your party. In case you forgot the starter's of a certain Generation, here they are in grass, water, fire order.

Gen I: Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Charmander
Gen II: Chikorita, Totodile, Cyndaquil
Gen III: Treeko, Mudkip, Torchic
Gen IV: Turtwig, Piplup, Chimchar
Gen V: Snivy, Oshowatt, Tepig
Gen VI: Chespin, Froakie, Fennekin

Now that we have those starters listed. Give me like... two minutes... to debate with myself.

Charmander, Totodile, Treeko, Turtwig, Oshowatt, Fennekin

That wasn't that hard to be honest. It started with I need one that can learn fly, and Charizard is the only starter that can learn fly. Then it was straight forward from there, Totodile is my favorite Gen II starter, and Feraligator is my favorite water starter final evolution (haven't messed with Froakie to know if he's better). Treeko is like the only good grass starter (Chespin aside, I haven't messed with him yet). Turtwig for that crazy defense stat, Oshowatt because Snivy is statistically the worst starter ever, and come on, Tepig? Really? I chose Fennekin, not because he's the only gen VI I have experience with, but because I wanted a Psychic Pokemon on my team, and he's got a good defense stat. Now all I have to do is get one of the older games, and start trading over, I can make this team by starting a new game and picking Fennekin again and going from there. It'd be interesting to see how this would play out.

I'm still upset that Froakie turns out to be a dark type and Chespin a fighting type. Allow me to explain why this doesn't make sense. Fennekin becomes fire/psychic. Chespin Grass/fighting. And Froakie Water/Dark. Anyone see the issue yet? I'm sure Pokemon fans see it. Fire is weak to water, water to grass, and grass to fire, that much is obvious. But, also, psychic is weak to dark, dark to fighting, and fighting to psychic. They could have just left them straight up solo types and the benefits would have been the same. The fire starter has no defense against the water starter, the grass has no defense over the fire, and the water has none over the grass. They could have played opposites here, and given the starters defenses over their initial weaknesses and thus making battles with your rivals in game a bit more interesting. Instead, we come to the issues that gen's one and two had the fire will always be beaten by the water, the grass by the fire, and the water by the grass.

All of that being said, I have no real issue with the game, I just would have preferred it otherwise. This is in fact my favorite Pokemon game since the original Red and Blue. They've really stepped their game up, and as a nerd, destined to live the rest of his life, lonely in a dark room watching television and playing video games. Pokemon X gets a 10/10.

Moving on to better and bigger things (non Pokemon fans let out a collective sigh or relief) so that I can feel as though this blog actually has a relevant purpose in my life.

I've recently watched that, I own it. It's fantastic, you know, if you're a fan of Joss Whedon and Shakespeare. If you're not well...

Being that Much Ado is my favorite Shakespeare play, I had somewhat high expectations from this. I can say that it didn't disappoint at all, at least not me. I'm also a huge Joss Whedon fan, and I'm pretty sure it's impossible for me to hate anything that man does, nerds unite and all. Okay, that's a lie, I do hate some things he does, like when he kills off my favorite characters and stuff, but other than that, the man does no wrong.

A bit of a side note here, I know you love it when I go on tangents, but do you ever get the urge to punch some one, as hard as you can in the face. Not just as a one time occurrence, but every goddamn day, multiple times each day? That's me right now for the past two days. My suite mates were pretty much gone over mid-semester break, so I managed to somehow forget just how annoying the one we call Jake can be. Jake isn't his real name, we initially called him that because he never shaves, and when he did, we actually thought he was a different person. The name kind of stuck. He has also, apparently been playing video games for about ten hours a day with a person whose name he did not know, or at least remember - who he only refers to as "Batman," the person's gamer tag. What. The. Actual. Fuck. It's like he's never heard of stranger danger before. 

On second thought that doesn't surprise me, he always seems to find new ways to amaze me about what he doesn't know. For a 90's kid, he hasn't heard of Dragon Ball Z, Rugrats, or pretty much anything that was on Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network if I recall correctly. So anyways, he won't stop watching Vine videos, on his mac. I have to specify mac, because he only owns apple products, and he claims that is because that's all his parents would buy him, but I have to call bullshit, because no self respecting parent would spend hundreds of extra dollars for an apple logo. Or maybe I'm just naive about how ignorant the parenting public actually is. I mean, they clearly didn't teach him self control. He plays video games, for ten hours straight doesn't nourish his body until 12:30 IN THE MORNING every night, and even then he only eats sugars and junk food.

We've tried telling him that what he does isn't healthy, but he doesn't listen. He's also the only socially awkward person, whose social awkwardness is too much for me to handle. I usually respect people who don't know how to "deal" with other people. Because, hell, I'm one of those people. But he brings it to new levels. 

He cannot order his own food. I'm not kidding. He is literally scared to call a pizza place, or any food place that delivers because he does not know how to talk to people without swearing at them through the internet over some bullshit thing that happens in World of Tanks or Call of Duty, which by the way, are the only two games he plays. I tried World of Tanks once, I wanted to kill myself - figuratively, I just hated every minute of it. Granted this was the PC version of the game, so maybe the X-Box version is better, but honestly I doubt it, because the X-Box version is never better. Never.

Anyone who tells you other wise is a liar. A dirty no good liar you shouldn't be letting your kids hang around with. Right Harry?

So back to Much Ado. To put it bluntly, and briefly, if you're not a fan of Shakespeare, don't watch it. At all, you'll hate every minute of it. It's not for people that find him and his writing boring, it's for fans of Shakespeare by fans of Shakespeare. The script is written in Shakespearean English for Pete's sake (... I don't think I have to say anything about this "Pete" by now, he's just a mystery to me).

By the way, I've been writing this over the course of the day. I had to stop mid rant about my suite mate above, to go to my night class at 6:30, it's now 10:35. To paint a picture for you, and to try and prove to you just how much time he spends on video games (I'll admit I play video games a lot in my free time too, but I'm not obnoxious about it, I do other things, I swear, Scout's honor. Alright, I was never a Boy Scout, but you can trust me. We've made a sort of bond over the past like ten blogs haven't we? Well, you'll just have to take my word on it then) I got back from my first class at 4:45 (3:30-4:45 I do the late afternoon classes thing), and when I walked in, he was playing World of Tanks. Now I cannot tell you when exactly he started, because he was not playing it when I left at around 3:00, But I can only assume that he had been playing it for at least an hour, due to him being situated in his spot on the couch with a drink and all, and that he gets out of class at 3:15 and I walked in at around 5:00. He is still playing World of Tanks Right now, and he won't stop until 12:30 or after if he decides to keep playing after getting his nourishment.

More power to him, I would say if he were able to balance doing this with his school work, which he has proven he can not do last year when he had to drop out of a class because it was literally impossible for him to pass, let alone all the assignments he did not finish or the one's he failed to submit on time. When gaming interferes with your life, in such a way, that it makes it worse, you need help. Serious psychological help because you need to sort out your priorities.

When it's all you do, literally all you do aside from going to class, it's time to hang up your fucking boots man because there is literally no hope for you. I had already mentioned how socially awkward he was, and how normally I take pity on socially awkward people, as I'm most definitely not the most social of butterflies. But here, let me paint you a word picture.

I already mentioned that he cannot order his own food, and the only communication I've seen him do with the "outside world" is calling people "bitch" on some military game. But not only can he not order his own food over the phone, he also has trouble ordering at fast food places, he doesn't speak at all to cashiers when buying his 12:30 AM snack, even when they say something to him like "have a nice night" or whatever. I've went with him once or twice - I assume every time it's the same way. But let me tell you a story. Some fairly attractive females live in the Student Town Home area, or at least walk through it. I mean, the gym is like a two to three minute walk from my Town Home, so they have good reason to walk through the area, though most people just cut through the field and don't take the sidewalk. So anyways, he was looking outside, staring at some girl who was standing out there. She sees him looking at her and waves.

Now you would think he'd just wave back right? Wrong. He screams at the top of his lungs, jumps off the couch he was sitting on, and hides under it. I can't make this shit up people, I wish I was. I really, truly do. But alas, (poor Yorick) I am not. Kudos to the people that got that reference.

Any who, I have work to do, and a lot of it. So I'll leave you with the following video, and I will either return Tomorrow after finishing my essay that's due at Midnight, or Saturday. Also, I'm going to see Carrie tomorrow night, I can't wait.

Another Apocalyptic Sunday

I'm writing this while watching last week's WWE Raw. Yes, on top of everything else I watch, I also watch professional wrestling. Stop judging me, I've watched this since I was young, I can't get the fish hook out of my cheek.

I love how when John Cena is out on injury, they don't seem to know what to do with the title, they managed for more than a year to keep the belt on CM Punk. Which was fantastic, but Cena got injured a few months ago and they've been playing the vacant WWE title game for a month and a half now, two pay per views without proper finishes. Granted, it's some of the best writing I've seen out of the company, comedy wise, because they have The Big Show involved, and everything that man does is comedic gold.

Moving on from the pro wrestling talk before I lose my entire ten person audience. Lets talk Beyond: Two Souls, and how good that game is.

light spoilers may follow, be warned.

So I spent all of yesterday playing the game, aside from about an hour and a half break for food. The campaign is somewhere close to ten hours. Which is respectable given the style of the game. Quantic Dream has been known to deliver in the story over game play department, and I cannot disagree. It just sucks that nearly every review I've seen for the game was done by someone who things that video games are still all about the game play. I will openly admit that some of the game play elements was wonky, and will take more than one play through to master. This isn't Call of Duty, or God of War where everything will be handed to you. You will mess up in your first play through, you likely won't die. But you will get hit, a lot.

What I find to be the strongest aspect of the game, and what a lot of other people took issue with. was the fragmented linearity of the narrative. You're constantly jumping around to different times in Jodie's life. I love it, others hate it. I'm not sure why they hated it. unless they weren't like me and didn't play the whole game in one sitting and forgot what happened in each of the parts. 

Admittedly it can get confusing, it isn't done like Momento, where you recap everything as you gradually go back in time. You start off at the end, of the game, granted you don't know that, and then jump to some time before that, and then you're a kid, and then you're an adult again, and then a teenager. And this jump happens after every part finishes. Just like Quantic Dream's previous outing, Heavy Rain, there isn't much "action" in the game, it's more of a drama, with action elements. People took issue with the gun controls, and I don't know what exactly their problem with it was. Was it that they couldn't themselves point and shoot and instead only had to hit R1 to kill anyone? Admittedly, I didn't really read the reviews, I read the scores, which were stationary around 6-7, which is much to low.

I will say that I don't disagree that the game is weaker than Heavy Rain, and that is entirely due to the way the story is told. Heavy Rain is easy to understand, the narrative is straight forward, and you're just in it for the ride. Beyond: Two Souls would not work that way. The whole point of the fragmented jumping narrative, is not only to confuse the player, but because important aspects that explain what will happen next occur at different times in the game. The way Beyond is told, benefits it as opposed to hindering it. 

The performances you get from the cast, specifically from the two main cast members, Ellen Page and Willem Dafoe as Jodie Holmes and Nathon Dawkins respectively. As an avid fan of both of theirs, I was well aware that the two of them were capable of some remarkable performances, and the fact that their best work came out of a video game is just remarkable. 

In order to avoid spoilers, I'm not going to discuss just what makes their respective performances so damn brilliant. Because they are both amazing in different ways. If you are reading this, and some of the scores have swayed you away from trying the game out, don't listen to them. Only listen if you are partial to game play over story. But I'm giving the game an 8/10, for the occasional frustration over how the combat works, and a frame rate drop here and there that took me out of the immersion.

In my last post I mentioned that I was going to watch Much Ado About Nothing and The Croods. I have done neither, mainly because of the overhaul I did to the blog's layout, and not getting done with that until like eleven thirty and then watching Once Upon a Time in Wonderland which didn't end until around twelve thirty. So The Walking Dead returns to television tonight, which means I can officially hate the rest of the human population for giving such an average, right down the middle show, the label of "televisions best show." 

I don't know what to think about the show though, to be honest. It was my introduction to The Walking Dead multi-verse. I understand that the show is separate from the comic and game. But this is the only case I can find, where the comic and video game, are actually better than the visual medium adaptation. The show walks the line, of camp and non camp, and i think that is where I take issue. Because narratively the show makes sense, it's easy to follow, and doesn't treat the viewer as stupid. the viewer in most cases is actually more intelligent than the narrative, or at least characters in the narrative, which is how we are clued into who is going to die. That is why the comic and game are so much better, because people aren't inherently idiotic in it. You don't cheer when a member of the group dies in the comic, you're actually upset, depressed even, almost to the point of not continuing the comic, as some people did following the events of issue 100. People cheered, actually cheered and rejoiced, following the death of one certain character in the show (I know because I was one of them).

This was done on my part, prior to having read the comics. Which actually I believe I am an issue behind, I haven't read issue 115 yet, the first issue of the "semi-biweekly" Volume Twenty: All Out War. So, I think I'm going to have to go read that. Be back soon.

Okay, so now I'm all caught up on The Walking Dead comic. I can't get over how good the story actually is among all campiness. That's where the comic succeeds and the show fails. The comic seems to know it's campy, and not meant to be taken as a work of art, while the show doesn't. The show takes itself seriously when it shouldn't and doesn't when it should. We have a game of opposites going on in the show, we are supposed to care about the group, when honestly we only care about Rick, Carl, and Daryl - maybe a little bit Maggie and Glenn too. Daryl more than anyone else, I know for a fact that if Daryl dies, 90% of my "friends" who watch the show, which is like twenty-thirty people will not continue to watch the show - he's basically the only reason they watch it. But the comic manages to get you to sympathize and care about everyone, and does not make any character weak, aside from the throwaways that die quick, before they had a chance to really become characters. The only real emotional death in the show so far has been Lori's, and that was only emotional for the viewers, because we saw how devastated Rick was, it drove him into insanity. I was upset that they killed Merle, but I understood why it had to be done, and it was coupled with a fantastic performance by Norman Reedus, so I accepted it all in the same. 

The only reason I am not avoiding spoilers here , is because it's The [Fucking] Walking Dead, if you haven't seen it yet, you don't care about spoilers.

The show however has somehow managed to completely destroy Andrea's character. She's a fucking bad ass, how did you manage to do that with the source material you were given. She's hardened and tough, she isn't sympathetic, and she isn't stupid and clueless. She's the second in command for Pete's sake (He returns, and no, I will not let this stupid bit die - it's all I have).

But you done fucked it up and made one of the most beloved characters in the comics into one of the most hated characters in the show. So much so, that as previously mentioned when she bit the dust at the end of season three, people actually rejoiced in the streets. Maybe not to that extent. But I want to do something with you now, to show you that not only was her death a good thing for the fans, but to show you that they didn't handle it well. I hate doing this because it spoils something that happens at the end of Breaking Bad, in its second to last episode.

Actually, no, don't watch these clips if you don't want spoilers it's that simple. My analysis of the two clips will be spoiler free, if you've seen Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead all the way through, feel free to watch the clips. But if you haven't yet and care about spoilers. Don't. You've been warned.

I apologize for the poor quality both in the visuals and audio of the walking dead clip, but seriously, it is impossible to find a good quality clip of the actual scene, and that's the best I found on like the first four pages of YouTube. What I find hilarious is that the person watching it, either has a cold, or is actually crying.

Now if you watched both clips you'll notice two things, both involve the death's of characters in the show, that directly impact the main cast. One was done in the penultimate episode, and the other in the season finale. The latter should have been done in the penultimate as well. Putting her death after the confrontation, adds nothing to the emotion, it just serves to kill off a character and nothing else. I'm certain there will be some added repercussions in the early episodes of season three, but I don't see it being brought up any more past episode five. The first clip shows us how to properly kill off a character. Even a small character, such as the one who died, can have a great impact on the narrative and the coming events of the show. Andrea's death in The Walking Dead, does nothing to the narrative of the show, or has done nothing, other than getting rid of a pay check. Sure, it may have made some of the more emotionally vulnerable members of the viewership tear up, but God is that clip hammy. 

She's giving this big speech the entire time, why is she giving this "holier than thou" speech? All it does is make me wish she would have died off screen for two reasons. One, Andrea's character in the show, was making stupid mistake after stupid mistake. She has been living in the world of zombies and messed up people for about a year - Yes, the three seasons of the walking dead are only stem about the course of a year. She knows how to act in it, or should. That is evidenced by her character's source material - again when you are given gold to write a character with, use it, don't shit on it (though that would technically be using it I guess). 

The first clip shows, that no speech is needed to show that the persons death is important and sad or ennobling. The character dies in order to motivate one of the other characters involved in the scene, that was the real purpose of the scene. A motivational tool of the writing staff. Andrea's death in TWD served absolutely no purpose but to shut up the people, like me, that hated the way her character was being handled by the writers. that's it, her death has done nothing else for the show, no emotional impact, no character development out of it (yet, there's still a possibility that some will come), it's just there because the writing staff decided to get rid of her.

When killing off a main character, you have to do it right. Granted, this is really the only character death in TWD that I take issue with. Lori's was handled perfectly, along with Shane's and Dale's. Merle's was by far handled the best out of any death in the show. We don't actually see his human death, just his zombie death, and we see the effect that it had on Daryl in the following episode. Perhaps I'd be more appreciative of Andrea's death if it were actually done in the penultimate episode, and given a chance to show how the characters react to it in season three. But all they really do is cry about it for a minute or so, then go back to the prison with all the people from Woodbury, that are no doubt all going to die by episode three. It's like they aren't even trying to surprise us with these traumatic events, it's so obvious it's ridiculous.

Lets talk Pokemon now.

So, I got Pokemon X on Saturday, I haven't played it much. But I chose Fennekin, the fire starter, for my first play through. 

Yes Dean, he is cute. So, I need to apologize to my suite mate, who had a heated conversation with me over the secondary types of the three starters. I was wrong and you were right, it is in fact fire/psychic, water/dark, and grass/fighting. I still stand by my point that Froakie's final form looks more like a fighting type than Chespin's, Chespin doesn't even look like it should evolve into a part fighting type at all. Unless Serebii is wrong as well, but for some reason I doubt that. So, when I get to choose my orig. 151 starter, I think I'm gonna go with Squirtle, at least for this first play through. But there is a water type that looks a lot like a blue Krabby that I want, so I may actually go for Charmander like everyone else.

The differences in this game versus the previous installations of Pokemon is amazing. YOU CAN MOVE DIAGONALLY GUYS.

Anywho, I am getting hungry and that's all I really have to say on Pokemon X as I am not that far into it to really have an opinion on the game, Fennekin hasn't even evolved yet, one level away, but still. So, in conclusion enjoy the following video, I'm going to get food and actually watch Much Ado About Nothing now.

Mid Semester Break, Also Known As: Game Time

Hey, you there, with the eyes.

Yes you, the one reading this, you know who you are. You know what time it is? No, it's not Adventure Time. It's Game Time. It's officially Mid-Semester break, and since I just finished my essay for Film Western literally 25 minutes ago (it is now 8:40), and The Legend of Korra  is on, all I have to do before I can play los video juegos (Spanglish on yo asses) is watch the rest of Korra and all 42 minutes of Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. 

Tomorrow, Pokemon X comes out, and I found out earlier that the usual 3 PM shuttle to Walmart on Saturdays does not exist during Mid-Semester break. So it's another hour and a half round trip to Gamestop for me in the AM. I am so thankful that I won't have to do this trek to Gamestop for the rest of the semester, unless I decide to get the new Super Smash Bros. for the 3DS, and I'm not sure if I will, at least not day one. What? You think I'm kidding? Look at me.

Do I look like I'm kidding? Do I look like someone who enjoys four mile walks just to pick up a game? No. No one likes doing that. NO ONE. Especially lil' ol' me, who likes nothing. That was a lie, I like things. I'm sorry I lied to you, here, have a cookie. Sorry, he got to it first. He always seems to do that.

So I've been trying to beat Pokemon Black 2 before X comes out --- Oh shit, Korra has amnesia. Why are these children's shows so damn good. They're better than a lot of other crap out there on television. This is coming from a guy that watches almost everything television has to offer. You know, aside from the no good worthless schlock. 

I don't have a prejudice over what can be good television, anything can be good television. Anything. And I mean it. They just have to try. Take the new show The Millers for example. With that cast, the sky was the limit. I figured the show couldn't possibly be anything less than good. But the writing, the sheer horridness of the writing, words cannot describe just how bad the writing is. I don't know how it hasn't been cancelled yet. Maybe it got better, maybe episode two wasn't as terrible as episode one. But when episode one makes you want to cry because you actually know you could have written a better episode of television in your sleep, you don't even want to find out how good episode two turned out. That being said, the only two new shows that have been cancelled so far, are We Are Men and Lucky 7. 

The former I quite enjoyed, while admittedly the latter didn't find it's standing yet, and had the worst possible ratings a show on ABC could have had. We Are Men, despite having rather poor critical acclaim, and poor ratings, was not that bad of a show. I honestly don't know how it didn't do better, considering Tony Shaloub was in it. But now I'll never know how the show will end. I hate when a show gets cancelled just a few episodes in, because they don't even have the capability of finishing a season for the million or so who actually liked (or just watched) the show. I need to know how it was going to end. Why are shows cancelled so Early? I want to know why, tell me why. TELL ME!

In other news. My list of movies, its still at 106. If you missed the drop from 107, it was Prisoners, I saw Prisoners, it was good. I recommend it. A lot. It was fantastic. Go Watch it. If you want to know how good it was in three words, ask Dr. House.

Sometime later tonight I'm going to watch Much Ado About Nothing and The Croods. The latter to shut my suitemate up who keeps telling me I have to watch it. You know who you are, you can stop telling me to watch it now. Seriously. Stop.

In case you also missed it from my previous post. I mentioned a little project that my Advanced Poetry class was doing involving a typewriter, my jaw, and dropping said jaw.

Here you see the thirty pound beast in its natural habitat. The Dr. Pepper can runs away in awe of the typewriter's majesty. If you recall, the assignment calls for the students to write a long, linked poem, in the style of Japanese Renku. We were given seven rules (they are labeled rules, but they are really guidelines), which I will list below verbatim.

Rule #1: There are no rules. Write what you want, in any style, any voice, any manner, but do keep in mind that you're (we're) writing a poem, not a long, thing block of fractured prose.

Rule #2: In the spirit of Ammons, the shape of the poem (the lay and play of lines) will be dictated by the width of the paper (3 1/8 inches). As a group working together, we should be "listening to" eachother, but no one should feel limited by another person's poetic trajectory.

Rule #3: Like improvised music, your lines should be written "on the spot," and not "pre-written." The poem must be typed, and no words or phrases can be erased. Think by typing. Type by thinking. Follow the clackety keys.

Rule #4: The typewriter may not be kept by anyone for longer than one week. It must be returned to class on the Monday after you took it away. The exception is that you may pass the typewriter off to another member of the class during the week if you work out the logistics (but please let me know). Also, you might want to organize a group "type-in" where several people get together to work (this, in the more traditional spirit of Renku). Finally, if you'd like to drop off the typewriter early to me, feel free to do so, I will then contact someone else about picking it up.

Rule #5: Just as Basho, considered the master of haiku (and a great practitioner of Renku poems), had many disciples working with him, you should consider Ammons' Tape your masterwork: think about the way he works with the limitations of the paper roll, how his use of the poetic line makes the paper's width both inevitable and invisible. If you get stuck, turn to Ammons. Let him be your guide.

Rule #6: You may write as much as you like (there's plenty of "scroll" to go round). Please date the start of each new section. When you're done with your section, please type your initials, not your full name. The paper roll is rather delicate, so take care that the paper is not torn. Roll up the poem when you're finished with your section. But of course everyone can and should read what's been written.

Rule #7: Write like you mean it. Go wild.

So those are the rules. There are not that many of them, and they are pretty basic. But yeah, I had the thing from Wednesday after I wrote my blog post. I had no idea I was actually going to be the one to take it Wednesday, and then took I it back on Thursday. This was the email I sent out to let the class know it was in the English Department Office - Our drop off/pick up zone. "Attention Alpha Team, the eagle has returned to its nest, intercept at your own risk." 

So the other day my ex told me to go read a recent Tumblr post of hers. I hadn't been on Tumblr in ages, ages being weeks, and I don't really plan on going back to Tumblr. I just don't get it. It doesn't appeal to me. Any way, the post was basically her taking the blame for our relationship ending. As we both suffer from depression, it's practically impossible for either of us not to think it's anyone's fault but our own. So really, I respect that she is saying it's her fault, but come on, I mean, I'm the man right, it's never the woman's fault. Am I right ladies... heh... hehe... heh... God I'm so terribly awkward. But yeah, relationships man.

I don't understand them, they kind of freak me out, and I don't think that is normal. People typically aspire to be in a relationship, and so do I. But gah am I terrified to start a relationship, to be in one just... I can't even think about it. The way the last one I was in went, I'm afraid of what it would be like with anyone else. Literally. She understood me and the way I was before we started the relationship, she knows I'm terrible with communication, and most people aren't. So when I think about getting into another relationship with someone, or whatever. I just think, okay, when I don't tell them that I have free time, or whatever I don't say, it's just going to end the relationship before it can really begin because that's how pathetic my life is.

Who knows, maybe by the time I'm 30 I'll have worked through all this bullshit and I'll be able to properly communicate everything to everyone. Hell, the only reason I'm able to do it here, is because my writing is the only way I can express my emotions and what-not. Seriously, and the only reason that is is because I'm writing this while nobody else is reading it. If I know somebody is able to read this as I write it - which come to think of it, someone probably is - I wouldn't be able to write it. That's how hopelessly hopeless I am. For reals.

I'm not that awkward with conversations though. I can talk to anyone about anything really, as long as I know the subject. But I can't start a conversation with people I barely know. If they instigate, sure, I'm able to talk to them. If they don't, I'll be damned if a word is ever spoken between us. I'm the same way in class too. As a creative writing major, I'm in a lot of workshop classes, which are basically submit your work to the class, and then discuss the positives and negatives. I can write everything that is good and bad about their work with great ease, but I have trouble speaking up unless called upon. It's just the way I am wired. I can't help it, and it has negatively affected my grade in every workshop class I have been in. Here's Emma Stone using a Shake Weight: 

That's how we move on here, we post pictures of attractive celebrities using Shake Weights. God I love her. Back off Spiderman, she's mine now.

True, I can't really compete with that. You win this round Spiderman.

So. I have to go watch Once Upon a Time in Wonderland and Much Ado About Nothing. So here, have this amazing video:

College Sucks

Or Wednesday, whatever. As for the title, I couldn't really think of anything else, so, college sucks. Mainly because I have so much work to do this week, as it is midterm week. That things had to be pushed back a bit.

Let's see here, I had to write a poem for advanced poetry today - that took a whole thirty minutes so it doesn't count, a reading review, which took thirty to forty minutes, I had two 5-6 pages essays that were due Friday at midnight (Both got moved, one to Saturday at midnight, and the other to next Friday, the 18th by midnight), I had to write a journal entry on Girls, which is basically just me discussing the episodes we watched and discussing the readings for that week. And to top it all off, I had a shit ton of Modern Logic work to do. I love this class, it's challenging, and I love a good challenge, but by God is the workload ridiculous. The assignment was one through five, six through ten for over achievers. I know what you're thinking, ten questions, that ain't so bad. WRONG. Each question has multiple parts, each part is a letter, question one goes to "r," two to "m," three to "n," four to "f" (and each part is two problems), and five goes to "i." The over-achievers have six to "h," seven to "m," eight to "g," nine to "n" and ten to "h." Essentially that's 60 questions for non-over-achievers and an extra 50 for the over-achievers.

Why is this, in any way, acceptable. Do professors not realize that we have other classes, that require us to read, and write as well. I didn't even include the reading assignments I had, or the movie assignments for my film classes (I had to watch The Searchers for Tuesday and I have to watch High Noon for Thursday). I get that professors don't keep in touch with each other and all discuss what assignments their handing out. But for Pete's sake (again, who is this Pete I keep talking about), were they not students themselves. Do they not remember this? Or do they, and this is just their sick way of getting some sort of satisfaction out of it? As if it were some diabolical plot. "I had to do fifty problems write four essays and read 120 pages all in the span of three days and it sucked, so now you do as well."

After class on Monday, the assignment was at first, not even possible. I mean it, I spent more than an hour doing everything short of banging my head against a wall to try and figure out just one problem in the first set of 18 (1, a-r). On top of all of that, the cherry on top of the icing. The thing that pisses me off about this the most. I have no time to play Grand Theft Auto 5, Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 ReMix, or Beyond: Two Souls, AND I am four shows behind. I have Sleepy Hollow, The Blacklist, Supernatural, and Sons of Anarchy. After tonight, who knows how far behind I'll be, it makes me sad, very sad.

I don't know how my suite mate can manage being behind. He still has like shows from last week to watch.

Thankfully, there's a break coming up, Friday from 3:20 until Wednesday at 11:15. That entire break will be spent catching up on shows, and destroying GTA and B:TS. Hopefully, my professors don't come up with any surprise assignments for us to do over break that completely ruins the point of a break. In high school, it was terrible, in college, it's even worse. Because in college, the assignments are longer, and the breaks, shorter. When you finally finish, you do this, and when you wake up, the break is over and you had literally no free time to yourself.

It's straight up torture. I've had tough semester's before. Tougher work load semesters. Hell for some reason I decided that my second semester as a Freshman would be fun if I had six. SIX. Literature classes. That's just reading, and writing essays. Reading a lot, and writing a lot of essays. That's all it is. Nothing more, no fun assignments, no sixty logic problems. Just pick up a book, read it, and write an essay on it. Every week. But I will admit that my favorite class I've ever taken was in that semester, so I don't regret it at all. Confronting Death was the class, and it was phenomenal. God, that Michael Cera .gif is mesmerizing.

So, about that poem assignment, it came out of left field, right after he had just given another assignment, which admittedly is going to be one of the best assignments ever. The first assignment is longstanding, for the rest of the semester - and son of a bitch my suite mate just turned on his X-Box, time to listen to Call of Duty for the next twelve hours. I don't understand the appeal of Call of Duty, well, the appeal of taking Call of Duty seriously and playing for anything other than fun. He was literally yelling at the TV yesterday, well, yelling at someone over his mic, about how they were "dicking around" and having fun. I know right, I guess no one is allowed to play video games for fun any more. I think that's what I hate about it the most. It changes people, it turns non scumbags into scumbags, and scumbags into meaningless sacks of shit.

The best part was that someone called him a "bitch ass nigga," nigga is used in a vain attempt to be politically correct, rest assured there was an "er" in the place of that "a." Then he accused that person of not knowing how to speak English. As the English major in the room, I had to inform him that "bitch ass nigga," is proper grammar, and that the person was giving him the label "bitch ass nigga." I don't normally get joy out of doing this, but it felt so good here, because he is so annoying when he gets into these stupid insult arguments where it's just one insult thrown back and forth one right after the other, that I just want to punch the mother fucker. Anyways, I have to write "bitch ass nigga" one more time.

So back to that first assignment. My professor bought a typewriter, off craigslist, for what I believe he said was ten bucks. and he is giving it to us, to take ho our homes, and use in order to write a poem that is confined to the space of adding machine tape. All of this is in the spirit of the book we just read, A. R. Ammons Tape for the Turn of the Year in which he does the same thing. We all contribute to the piece, one at a time, and we keep going until the semester is over. I'm not sure what will come of it after the fact, i.e. once the class is over, but it will be a fun little experiment. He is even allowing us to get together and work on some of it in a group, passing it around as we write.

The second assignment was just to submit any poem we had for workshop and bring in four copies. So I reworked an old poem that means quite a lot to me that I have used in every poetry class I've had, all three of them now. But the form is entirely different, a lot of the words that were in the old poem are still there, but reworked and moved around to create an entirely different poem. I actually prefer this newer version to the older version. the poem was written as a letter, to my older brother who died shortly after birth, and it didn't have the shape of a letter, now it does. It just looks better, though I'm not quite convinced it sounds better, it's still a slow reading poem, with a lot of pauses and breaks. I just haven't read it aloud to myself enough to know whether or not it sounds better compared to the old version.

Anywho, I have class soon, thirty minutes to be exact so I gotta bounce (who says bounce anymore? God I'm lame). So here's a video, and I'll see you Friday.

My Saturday Night - and a Conversation Regarding Prisoners

For those wondering about part two and three of the previous post, and you're actually reading these in reverse. November 8, and either December 13, or 20 will be the approximate dates for the two parts respectively. If you'll recall in the first blog post ever I posted a link to the CTFxC YouTube channel, they just yesterday posted an update giving the test results, and it's a bit heart breaking.

The best part of the video, is when Charles say's "Fuck Cancer" because that is just pure emotion put on screen for us to see. It's a raw moment, that we usually don't see anywhere else. Their channel has been filled with so many of these moments that I have since I've started to watch their videos, am now forced to watch each daily video. I don't really do much else with my day's. I watch the abundance of shows that run from Sunday to Wednesday, and become easy to handle in the remaining three days of the week. Yet somehow I manage to include a YouTube video, or two, or six. nearly every day due to the amount of channels I'm subscribed to where I am forced to watch each update just because of my love for them.

Here at the college Twitch seems to run terribly, so I'm not able to watch Roll Play live, with ease. if you're unfamiliar with Roll Play, it's run by itmeJP and is basically just him and four other people (DM included) playing dungeon's and dragons - he also has a Warhammer 40K series, which is quite enjoyable that features the lovely TotalBiscuit - and he is starting a third campaign, which I believe to be another D&D game which he is calling Ehbon starting Tomorrow October 6th at 2PM EDT. Aside from them I am forced to watch everything Dodger and Jesse Cox do. I'm not going to link to the other channels I subscribe to that everyone else watches on YouTube. I just felt the need to share the wealth of quality YouTube gaming content. TableTop on the Geek & Sundry channel, is also fantastic by the way, Wil Wheaton looses a lot, and that's always fun to watch - maybe not for Wil though.

This is probably my favorite picture of Wil Wheaton. Mainly for Sara Underwood's existence in it. But also the hover hand. It shows me that Wil Wheaton, despite having a wife, and constantly being around women like Felicia Day, and other's he has had on Table Top, he's still a socially awkward mess like me. And I love it. I also apologize to Mr. Wheaton, for the use of this image and all the harm it has caused him in the past, and will continue to cause in the future. I could have used a different picture, yes, but this is the best one. Ever.

So I am currently watching Supernatural season eight right now. As it was added to Netflix on Thursday, and I have until this coming Tuesday to finish the entire season. Needless to say, it's been a strenuous task, but I am on episode 11 of the season now. So I have like... 12 episodes after this one left. And I started yesterday, so I made some decent progress. Episode 11 is a LARP, Live Action Role Play for all you non-nerds out there, episode. If LARP episodes of shows has taught me anything, they are the best episode of those shows. Those and D&D episodes. Community being the main example. This episode also has Felicia Day reprising her guest role in the show, it also has this:

I've only really discussed my issues about Supernatural with my other TV addict suite mate. He used to be worse than me, but I have surpassed him, like any true addict does. But I can explain my issues quite easily. The show is just too long. As I said, season eight has 23 episodes. With the combined totals of the other 7 seasons (22, 22, 16, 22, 22, 22, and 23) that brings the total episode count for the eight seasons to 172. Now a lot of shows are able to make the 22 to 24 episode count work to their favor. Recently I went through both seasons of Once Upon a Time on Netflix (44 episodes total), and not once did the seasons plot not enter some part of the episode.

Don't get me wrong, Supernatural is a great show, it's smart, it's funny, and the characters are fantastic. But very seldom, does each episode deal with the continuation of the plot. This episode in particular has nothing, at least so far, to do with the rest of the season. The big bad isn't in it, they aren't working to find a hell gate, they are just sitting in a LARP camp trying to rid it of supernatural events. That and there are fairies. So that's my real issue. Some of the episodes end up having "issue of the week" syndrome where they just find a monster, get rid of it, and then in the next episode, or in a future episode remember they have a plot to resolve. Granted, I don't watch many hour drama's that do the whole 20 episode thing. This, Once Upon a Time, and Elementary are pretty much it right now. Elementary suffers from the same syndrome Supernatural has. Lets talk about that movie I watched last night, number 1 of 107.

Hugh Jackman actually looked a bit older than he did in The Wolverine, and gave what I believe to be the performance of his career. If the movie is nominated for anything at all, it's best male performance. Seeing a man, go from zero to sixty in the blink of an eye is so hauntingly fantastic performance wise that it deserves the nod at least. There were a lot of great performances Paul Dano, who plays Alex Jones has surprising immersed himself so deeply in the role that it's practically terrifying. Terrance Howard does his typical Terrance Howard thing, and is just present in a narrative because a good actor that people would recognize was needed to fill his 35 minute screen time role. Most of the movie is spent with Jackman and Gyllenhaal as they both try to solve the mystery.

Gyllenhaal didn't steal the show this time around, but he wasn't just there like Howard and the wives were. Jackman's wife however, plays the mom suffering from PTSD exceptionally well. It was good performances all around, with a few greats, and a few spectaculars. The movie was 153 minutes long, but honestly it felt shorter. At no point did I feel as though it was dragging on. The suspense was dealt with perfectly, keeping people on the edges of their seats so to speak when they needed to be. Aaron Guzikowski, who wrote the film couldn't escape a few easily predictable moments, or maybe not so predictable for your average movie goer. I don't think my suite mate was able to predict everything I was. I only became certain about things when certain subtle things popped up in the narrative. But that didn't take anything out of the film for me, Hell I'm able to predict the outcome of most movies now, it isn't very often that a film is able to surprise me anymore.

Let's talk cinematography. Roger Deakins is the fucking man. He is my favorite modern cinematographer. The guy has lit and colored some of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen, this one included. Some of the shots in this, The close ups of the candles, the shots of Alex when he is held up, the slow forward tracking in broad daylight that just makes you feel uneasy. It's the haunting visuals that make this film. Perhaps it isn't all Deakins doing, and lies a bit on the director, Denis Villeneuve, but I honestly haven't seen most of Villeneuve's work. He hasn't done any contemporary work, this is his first major picture, and most of what he does are indy/foreign projects. But I was watching the movie the whole time just thinking,

I can't safely mark out like that in a theater, so I have to keep the thoughts trapped in my head, so I am not judged by the other viewers who aren't nearly the cinephile I am. Let's talk more Roger Deakins. The last movie that got me purely on it's visuals was Skyfall, guess who was the cinematographer, Roger Deakins. That remake of True Grit, also Deakins. Revolutionary Road, Deakins. Doubt, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, No Country for Old Men, Jarhead, all Deakins. O Brother, Where Art Thou? Fargo, The Big Lebowski, and The Shawshank Redemption, I can't possibly be making all of this up, it's all Roger fucking Deakins. Look, I even have proof.

I think I'm in love with this man's work.Him as well as the fantastic duo of David Fincher and Jeff Cronenweth - there is no greater team in the modern era. I have ten episodes of Supernatural left to go now, and in spirit of that, here's a video to tie you over until my return on Monday or Tuesday.

A Brief History of My Life - Part One

A few years ago, my Sophomore year of college, I wrote a personal essay all in stream of consciousness that briefly gave the story of my life up to that point. I wasn't sure what really to do with this blog when I first got the idea to start it, what I wanted it to be, how I wanted it to go. And when I decided to just make it a look into my life, I figured at some point I would have to do a basic re-write of that essay that is so poorly written. Then I went and looked at that essay, and I realized that there was so much that I left out, and still the thing was rather long. The longest personal essay I have written, and I'm kind of embarrassed by it. It reads like crap. I cannot believe that just two years ago I didn't know how to properly form a sentence. I still have tense issues, and I make the occasional mistake, but God this was horrid.

In the spirit of this blog, and what it means to me, I have decided to do the re-write of this "old" essay in three parts. My early years, up through Middle School will be recapped here in part one. The second post will tackle High School, and the final part will be up to where I am at now, my senior year of college. I wouldn't expect the final part until this semester is over mid December. Part Two may be posted by either the end of the month or in early November before the launch of the Play Station 4. So, let's get this bitch started.

I began the original essay by diving into my self diagnosed depression, I've never been medically diagnosed as depressed. But from all my readings on depression, and the fact that I have tried to kill myself quite a few times when I was younger, I feel as though I can safely say I was depressed. Actually I don't think it's fair to say I was, depression isn't something you get over, it's more like something you learn to live with. I still hate getting out of bed most days, and the only way I'm able to do so most times is by writing, reading, or watching some sort of visual media. Classes also tend to motivate me to get out of bed, but on the weekends, it's one of the former three.

I grew up without my father really being in my life. I do plan on one day heading down to Florida to meet the family we left behind twenty years ago, but that's a story for another time. I'd like to say there was a definitive cause for the depression. I wish I could pin it on something, so that I know exactly why I hated myself, and still kind of do. There was not real, traumatic cause, I wasn't beaten or raped, I was however constantly made fun of.

I was never the cool kid, I never fit in with that crowd. I was short, overweight, and weak. Hell, I still am. So needless to say I took my studies more seriously than the average kid my age, even more than my close network of friends, which really, until about high school was four people, and even now it's somewhere around six.

I spent my pre-grade school years in a town called corning, with no real friends that I can remember. The only real thing I can remember was that I broke both my left wrist (for the first time) and my collar bone during my time there. That, and that I was attacked by some bees, that was fun. I broke my wrist when I was around five years old by falling off the top of a slide. And my collar bone was broken when some older kid ran into me while he was playing basketball, I blacked out after he hit me, and woke up either in the hospital or nurses office being taken care of. As you can probably guess, my bones weren't (and probably still aren't) very strong.

Somewhere along the line, before I started the first grade even, my mom met a guy who lived in a town called Clifton Springs, which is where I now currently reside when I'm not in Brockport for college. I don't recall for how many years we lived in the trailer park with him. I want to say it was three or four years, possibly even up through the fifth grade, but he was my first real father figure. He was your a typical male, or at least that's how I remembered him, he seems different now whenever I see him, but I remember him as a much more masculine man. But perhaps that was just my childhood naivete and the fact that I was not a very masculine boy and wasn't used to a man in my life whatsoever.

Eventually, stuff happened that I have no real recollection of, I want to say that he apparently didn't want the responsibility of taking care of a kid any more and we moved out. We moved into an apartment complex near the outskirts of the town and there we stayed until I went off to college. It was here at this apartment complex where I met the man who I consider to be the closest thing to a father figure I've ever had. He was one of our neighbors and one of the nicest persons (is that how you say it? God, how do I still not know how to speak English perfectly) I've ever met.

I love and respect him to death, and whether or not he reads this I want it to be said. I'm not the best with starting conversations with people, or keeping in touch with them, the way I was treated in school by my peers has made me a socially awkward mess, incapable of starting a serious conversation with anyone. I am quite capable of doing the small talk thing, with anyone, but if anything "real" needs to be discussed,

Anyway, he has been planning a move out of state with his daughter and his fiancé for quite some time now. I just want it to be said, in hopes that he will read this some day, that he's been like a father to me. And despite the fact that I haven't seen him in forever, something like two years now, I will miss the shit out of him. Maybe some day, I'll learn how to talk to people, I'll get his address and go visit him.

So back to the school stuff. Honestly, I don't recall the bullying every getting physical aside from a few times. There was never a black eye, busted lip, or bloody nose. But definitely people would assert their obvious physical dominance over me. In other words, it was more verbal bullying. It made me hate myself, the way I looked, how tall I was, how smart I was, practically everything about myself, and once you hate yourself, you never won't. The thing is, I know I'm over weight (slightly mind you, about 15 pounds), and I hate that, but I have no ambition, literally no ambition to do something about it. I'm not sure why exactly I don't have the ambition, I believe it stems from the idea that I just really don't care anymore. But anyways, back to my youth.

The depression, or whatever it was, if you don't want to take my word for it, led me to have a short temper, that I have since groomed into a slightly larger temper. But that short fuse I used to have caused me to break my hand on another kids face in what I recall to be the seventh grade. Now I realize that I've skipped breaking my wrist for the second time in the fourth grade and shattering my elbow between fifth and sixth grade. Yep, I fell on a cement block located in the playground behind the apartment complex. My elbow looked something like this, after just a few minutes, the funny thing is that one of my neighbors said to just put ice on it.

That's a nice purse. I ended up needing surgery, and now I have a sexy scar. Okay, it's not that sexy, but it is a scar, so that's a plus.

So, that's the scar there, on my elbow. And yes ladies, that's my room. That X there on my forearm is part of my "xXx" tattoo referring to my straightedge lifestyle. I have more tattoo's, but those will be discussed in the coming parts. Back to me breaking my hand on another kids face. Yeah, that happened.

He took my glasses off, and threw them across the cafeteria. So in a blind rage I punched him, a lot, a broke my hand. Hurting me a lot more than I hurt him. And that was basically the only "fight" I was in. Wait no, there was this other time where one of my friends hit me with his backpack, and then I knocked him down and knee'd him while he was down a few times. But to be fair, I asked the back-pack attack. I keep getting ahead of myself, that one was in high school. 

Nothing more really happened in my middle school years, aside from getting my cat Smokey, and starting to fall out of a few strong friendships. A few of my friends got into drugs, nothing serious, just alcohol and marijuana. You know the drug that should be legal because it does less harm to your body than cigarettes, and certain strings of the plant can actually do more help than harm. That's neither here nor there, but it's funny when you think about it a straight edge pro the legalization of pot. Personally I still won't smoke it, but not only would it stimulate the economy, it'd make a lot of people more mellow and happy, or maybe a bit paranoid.

I still keep in touch with the majority of them, though one appears to have fallen off the face of the Earth. To back track once again so I can say where my love for movies came from. My mom used to work at a local video store in Clifton (actually it was in Phelps, which is right next to Clifton), and she would often take me to work with her. Now you know where the cinephile in me was born. She worked there until a few years into middle school if I remember correctly, after which the place went out of business and she took up a job at the Big M in Clifton, which is currently in the process of going out of business. Moral of the story, my mom runs places out of business.

That's about all I can tell you about those years. So here's a video to tie you over for a few days. Tomorrow night I'm watching Prisoners, because it is actually the midnight movie, I've already purchased my ticket, so there's no backing out now.