Thursday, November 10, 2016

I'm Tired.

Before I start, and really get into the meat of this. I just have to state how stressful my life has been the past few months. Currently I owe my bank roughly 230 dollars. I've missed the past few months rents on time, totaling $100 (50 for my half, so not as bad) in late fees. I have under 10 dollars in my bank account right now. But, next month, since I get paid thrice, I may not be in this hole and will at least not have that stress on me. God damn it though, this election. This God forsaken election has just been the absolute worst. I'm not about to drivel on about how we made the wrong choice, or how it should have been Bernie (which it should have! #StillFeelingtheBern), but I am going to talk - Just talk - About how terrible we are as people. Buckle up. This may be a long one.


I try my best to avoid being cynical, but it's seemingly in my nature and I can't help it. Now and then it's best to be positive, and now is certainly a time to be so. But fuck it's so hard right now. Say what you will about our President elect. It's all been said before, but I just don't understand what the hell is going on, and how we got here. I get the logistics of the how, swing states, electoral college, voter turn-out, people genuinely not giving a shit. I just don't understand the following Trump has. I don't get his appeal.

Putting everything aside to not get into a deep pit of despair I really do not want to get into. This whole election has seemingly opened up the biggest damn can of worms I've ever seen. Fear. Justifiable fear.

I posted this as my status following the decision: "Personally, I'm not afraid of a Trump presidency, yet. But I am concerned for those who are now. this isn't the end of the world. It's four years, or less if we impeach him. We've had bad Presidents before, we'll have them again. Take each day as it comes and breathe. Or, if you truly don't feel safe, once you're financially secure, and able, get to somewhere you will."

As a privileged (apparently) white male, I stand by my own lack of fear. But God damn, some of the shit I've seen is out of hand. Yes, I understand the majority of Trump supporters are not the "racist, misogynistic bigots" they've seemingly been labeled just for supporting him, but there certainly is no denying that at least a few of you are, and the rest of you need to acknowledge it. This isn't a time to deny anything. We need to be coming together as a country, Trump said so himself in his (better than anything he's said this entire election) acceptance speech. Some of his supporters, however, are doing the opposite.


Please, take the time to look through as many of them as you can handle if you haven't already. Chalk it up how you want. Whether they are legitimate followers of Trump or not, his election brought this out of people. I'm not saying people became racist, because of it, or that this shit wouldn't have happened otherwise. I'm also not stating that all of these are 100% legitimate, some are likely fake, but certainly not all of them. It is impossible to deny that his election didn't in some way validate so to speak some peoples thoughts and opinions of others. It's all he's been toting for months, hell, years.


It can't be said with absolute certainty that if the opposition were elected that this wouldn't be happening. Personally, I'd like rather have the possibility of that other United States, one that isn't this. Because if this is Trump's America, I want nothing to do with it.


"Diet Zenophobia" being the best case, isn't something we should settle for in a President. The Presidency isn't a play thing we should just be tossing around to any Shmoe who says they want it. No matter how much they promise you that they will "Make America Great Again" (Whatever that means).

After a few years, once his term is done, we may all look back on this and say, "that wasn't so bad." But that fact that right now, months before he's even been sworn in; the fact that I can't tell you with absolute certainty (any you can't either) that some serious shit won't go down and soon, should terrify you just as much as it terrifies me.

I'm hoping we haven't done something irreversible here. Hopefully it won't have to come to any reversable measures.

If you voted for Trump, I don't hate you. I don't understand you, but I don't hate you. I just hope that this, in some way, helps you to understand the fear surrounding Trump's impending Presidency.

Hopefully, as a Nation. We won't have to regret what we've done.

Have some cute animals to lighten the mood:


Saturday, August 20, 2016

My Life as a Post College Individual


For those uninformed, life for some, likely most, post college isn't a great life. Yet, everyone, including people about to join that post college life believe the exact opposite. I'm twenty five, I've been out of college for two years now and cannot find a better job than the retail position I seem to be stuck in. I don't entirely hate my job, it has its rewards, but the negatives - the overwhelmingly vast negatives - are starting to outweigh those rewards. Yet I have nowhere to go.

Most people, like myself, thought the options would be a plenty. In previous posts I talked about my early job hunts, and how it took me six months to land a job pushing carts for Walmart. Now I sell electronics and electronics accessories at Walmart. But now I have more bills, thanks old car for breaking down causing me to get a new one, and I don't make nearly enough money to pay them all. I'm quite literally hemorrhaging money, trying to make ends meet. However the 50k in various debts I'm in make that nigh impossible.

My other writings have ground to an absolute halt, and I'm only writing this so people know what my life now is like if they are interested. So, lately I've been trying to get full time, or looking for a full-time/ higher-paying part time job. Which, since I've gone through college, is going fantastically. This is how the world works.


Twenty or so jobs, give or take a few, have received an application from me in the past month. All but a few have emailed back stating they are either no longer hiring, or I'm not one of the droids they're looking for. The others I assume just tossed me aside laughing at my optimism.

I'm not sure what some places want, really. I've seen others with similar qualifications get interviews left and right. I've seen people who are far less qualified get opportunity after opportunity. Hell, I've work with people whom I'm not even sure how they were qualified to work at Walmart.

But here I am, trying to expand my horizons, start a career and write on the side til I can hopefully live off of my writing. But instead, I'm drowning in a pit that this supposed beneficial education has seemingly caused. Maybe I just went to college for the wrong shit. Maybe I should have went for something other than what I want to do with my life. Something less, artsy.

Maybe I'm looking at the glass half empty. I suppose some people would try and seize some sort of opportunity here. Do whatever they can with what they have to advance their place in the world. So from now on, I'm writing at least a page, a blog, or something every day. I'm still going to push for that full time position. But I really need this. I need something to validate those four years of my life, which two years removed seem wasted - on the educational side of things.

That and I definitely need something other than these horrendous Presidential candidates to think about.