My (Not So Epic) Return - A Brief History of My Life - Part Tres

In case you haven't noticed - and let's be honest, you probably haven't - This is my first post in a few weeks. What makes this post even better is that I decided to do it on Christmas Eve, for whatever reason. If you've read the previous two installments of "A Brief History of My Life" then you know that I haven't led a very charming life, but if you've read my rather more recent posts, you can see that my outlook has changed, practically turning on a dime. The main thing I missed in part two was my high school graduation, and the senior class trip to Washington D.C.

So let's get this final part of the "brief history of my life" party started.

The end of high school, especially the last few months, were by far, the best moments of high school. Words literally can not describe how much better high school got towards the end. People stopped giving a shit about clicks, and it turned into this whole "we're all leaving" sort of thing, and nobody - for the most part - carried any grudges any more. But then you know, the real grudges started with the people that actually can't get over high school. You know the people on Facebook that always complain about the drama in their life that they always seem to create for themselves. They're usually also the one's who complain about people complaining.

There isn't much I can say about the end of my senior year really, that isn't too bland, and now that I am a senior in college about to enter his final semester...

So yeah, my final semester of college is coming up, right at the end of January, and I am not exactly prepared. I mean, I definitely feel ready, I just don't know how productive I'll be. I'm still one of the least productive people I know. I'm lazy as shit.

Like seriously, I'm super lazy. Do you want to know what I've been doing all break so far? Well I'm going to tell you anyways, I've watched nearly forty movies, and two whole episodes of the wire, as well as staying on top of the other shows I watch. Thankfully my mom doesn't really care about Christmas decorations - and neither do I, so that all worked out and I haven't had do decorate at all, and that makes me happy.

And other than that, my time has been spent Skypeing (Skyping?) with my girlfriend because she's like a six hour drive away. I feel the need to segue to just talking about college so far, then you know, returning to the sappy I have a wonderful girlfriend stuff.

Okay, not completely different, this was more just for those nice segue's...

So, my college orientation thing didn't go all too well, I got sick and had to go home. But then, the first day of Freshman year, I got to meet Luke, Matt, and... Josh. Remember when I was talking about Jake, and how annoying and stupid he was? Josh was Jake times ten. I have stories, but honestly if I start, this blog will take hours to read, and nobody wants that. So I'll just stick to one story. *clears throat*

I was on my way back from class, and about to enter my room when I'm hearing a sort of squeal or screech, confused I slowly open the door, not prepared at all for the horrors I was about to witness. There in the common room, is Josh, in all of his glory, flapping his arms and squawking as if  he were a pterodactyl with Luke sitting near him watching. So I take half a step into the room, witness this, he stops, Luke looks at me and sees the "I'm confused as fuck" look on my face, and commences dying of laughter as I just shake my head and leave the room. I needed to prepare myself before going back in there, I was so lost, I had no idea what was going on, and I didn't really want to know, I'm fairly certain it was Josh just doing his best aerial prehistoric dinosaur impression, I mean, this wasn't the last time he did the squawk, nor the arm flapping. But in all seriousness, talking to Josh makes you feel like this:

Freshman year ended with a prank war between Luke and Matt. Which included duct-taping chairs to beds, candy being littered across the room, cereal in pillows, and the language and password change on Luke's iPod that he didn't notice until he was in flight back home. The best prank though was done on Josh, just hours before I myself was leaving. Luke was already gone, and Josh was leaving, and Matt had gotten a few slices of pizza from trax, it's "fast food" that isn't so fast, and a bit healthier for you, and decided that while Josh was downstairs loading up his car, he would throw a slice of pizza into one of his bins, which I believe contained his bed sheets. I could be wrong. Essentially though, that was my last day of freshman year.

And then sophomore year came along, and I roomed this time with Brad, Luke was in Gordon by his lonesome, he went to London during the second semester though, so he can't really complain, and Matt was rooming with Chuck, Brad's freshman year roommate. Brad and I were living in the high rises, specifically Briggs, they're ten story buildings containing four rooms of six people on each floor. However for the first semester we only really had five people, as one moved out on like day one. and then in the second semester it was really just Brad and I for the weekend, there was a third who came in and lived with us Monday through Thursday nights, but then went home every weekend. Forgive me for not knowing their names, we weren't the most social bunch. Nothing really happened that year, in college, but outside I did both gain and lose my first girl friend, who then took me back for like two months during my Junior year.

Random Gif:

Junior year now rear's it's ugly head. If I had to pick a year of college I hated the most, it's my junior year. Aside from like three classes. Most of it was just, straight boring, and dealing with more stupid people. I've told my Jake stories, and I don't want to tell any more Jake stories, because I'm just going to get mad and I don't want to get mad. So moving on. The second half of the year  I got back together with my ex. And then my last night in Brockport for that year, I was ready to go home, see her, and do things, like any good boyfriend would, but there I was working on my Screenplay, minding my own business when i get a text message from her, breaking up with me.

I enjoy these things people make, I mean, who saves their girlfriend in their phone as just "GF<3"?

Of course it wasn't as comical as that. And I have since managed to forgive her for the way she did it, and while we haven't really hung out since and I did have feelings for her, the way she handled that breakup, not even calling me, it just broke me - I mean she called me to confirm my friends death during that summer, but didn't call to say, "hey, I'd like to see other people, no hard feelings bro. 'Kay thanks, bye." So Junior year, saw the return of Luke as my roommate, and Brad remained a suite mate now rooming with Jake. And Senior year we moved into the Town Homes, which is still four people living together but now in four separate single rooms.

Senior year, has not only been the best year of college so far, but it has officially capped off the greatest year of my life. Living in the Town Homes is fantastic. And after Jake dropped out, it got better, but now that Chuck is moving in, I'm not sure how good it can stay. The best thing about the day Jake moved out is that it was the day I met my girlfriend (who just may be the love of my life), Katie, that very same day. Funny enough we met going to see Twelve Years a Slave, you know, this movie:

Imagine that conversation with your child...

Kid: "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?"

Dad: "Well son, we met at a movie."

Kid: "What movie daddy?"

Dad: "well, er, um.... I'll tell you when you're older"

Much older kid: "So dad, what was that movie you met mom at?"

Dad: "12 Years a Slave son."

Much older kid: "That movie about the horrors of slavery that is incredibly hard to watch?"

Dad: "Yes, that movie."

Much older kid: "That's where you -"

Dad: "Yes! That's where I met your mother, I know it's strange, you don't have to tell me."

Much older kid: "that's -"

Dad: "I said shut up about it!"

END SCENE

And I guess that brings me to now, I have this whole new outlook on life, and I have to figure out how to write this blog with this new outlook. Because it all started as a form of catharsis, but I don't need it any more, and that's why it's been so long. I don't have the need to vent out my emotions. If anything this will become something of a story telling and movie/television discussion blog. My cathartic need for this blog is effectively over.

Christmas is tomorrow, I get to see (most of) my family, and then on the eleventh when we do our second Christmas, for those who couldn't make the first one, I get to bring Katie and she gets to meet my lovably dysfunctional family. 

Without further a due. This post is over, I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I didn't. Here, have a video, or two:

Death, and Other Happy Things

I wanted to post something on Thanksgiving day, but I got distracted and didn't get around to it. Perhaps there was a reason behind that, because Yesterday Paul Walker, star of the Fast & Furious films (next to Vin Diesel) has died - rather ironically - in a car accident (What? Too, soon? - look, I'd rather laugh in the face of death than treat it like it's something that we can never talk about).

September 12, 1973 - November 30, 2013 (40 years old)

I'll be the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of Walker outside of the F&F films. They were his masterpieces, his acting chops shown through in them, as much as they could. Needless to say, Walker will be missed and considering they are still filming Fast & Furious 7, it's a wonder as to what they are going to do with his character and how they are going to write him out - don't you dare recast, or I will find you  Vin, and I will get my ass kicked by you - but I will still come after you. Don't doubt me!

In other, less serious death related news, Brian Griffin died on Family Guy, and the internet is up in flames about it. Me, I'm not pissed about it, I kind of figure that he'll be back before the end of the season, possibly even before mid-season. But as for now, Brian is dead, and the world is very sad for whatever reason.

I keep forgetting that Family Guy started back in '99 - it's the few years where they were cancelled that keeps throwing me off

My guess is that he'll be back by the Christmas episode in a few weeks. I also hate Vinny, mostly because he is "replacing" Brian, my favorite character, but also because the character is just weak, he has nothing special about him other than the fact that he's Italian - which honestly makes him more annoying than special, because he isn't the awesome mafia boss Italian.

Look I don't have a problem with Italians, he's just an over-the-top characterization of every Italian stereotype, we are almost told, "Hey viewer, you see this character that we replaced Brian with, there's nothing redeemable to his character, you aren't supposed to like him." But maybe that's just my speculation.

In other news, I saw The Hunger Games: Catching Fire this past weekend. That movie has quite a few deaths in it - to continue the somewhat grim topic this blog post seems to be all about. It was definitely better made than the first film, which utilized shaky cam to the umpteenth degree. So here's a mini review:

Based on the second book in Suzanne Collins' series, Catching Fire, deals with the aftermath of Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark's victory in the 74th annual Hunger Games, as well as the 75th annual Hunger Games, and also sets up what is to come in the third and fourth films, based on the third book, Mockingjay.

The 75th Hunger Games, or the third Quarter Quell of the games were held in a different manner than the prior games shown, and even more different than the previous two Quarter Quell's. Previous victors of the games were now reaped for the games, meaning that district twelve only had Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch, who is drawn, but then replaced by Peeta when he volunteers himself as tribute.

Unlike the 74th games, these games have no victor, as the stadium is destroyed by Katniss and then the plot of the final two films is revealed. As previously mentioned the film is much better made, it's a solid film, the action is easy to follow, well, easier. There's still your typical action movie quick cuts that make it a little difficult for those not used to this trend to follow. The performances are also a lot stronger this time around, especially from Peeta, who did very little in the first and actually stepped his game up. Jennifer Lawrence was, as always, strong and not much can be said about her acting chops that hasn't already been said.

There isn't that much fancy camera work, or anything, the quality of the film is all really centered on the performances, nothing really special is with the camera or lighting to amaze. All of that being said:

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire gets an 8.5/10 - Because it is that good.

I'm not about to get into the things, and "controversies" surrounding the film. Where one half is praising the way it is treating sexuality and gender, while the other half is saying it isn't doing enough. Honestly, the movie is giving exactly what its source material can give, and it's doing it justice, and to me that is all that matters.

So Thanksgiving came and went, I don't know if I understand Thanksgiving or not, in the holiday sense, and why we even need a day to say what the hell we are thankful for. As if we couldn't do that any other day of the week, month, year. We need one day to do this, and we choose a day where we brought plague and famine to the new world, good choice.

I'm also writing this during the mid season of The Walking Dead, why do they insist on changing so goddamn much? I understand that it's different, but seriously, this is not the way this shit went down in the comics, unless this keeps going and it kind of levels itself out. But seriously Rick's group DESTROYS, literally, De-fucking-stroys, the Governors invasion. And here they are losing to The Governor - who is supposed to... never mind, Michonne got him did I mention spoilers? Sorry, spoilers, you should know this about me, this is stream of consciousness after all. But thank God they are at the end of the Prison era, and we can move on to bigger and better things, Like Neegan. Also, Rick need to lose his hand, and Carl needs to get shot in the eye, all of this needs to happen. But the hand thing isn't going to happen unless they make Neegan do it, the Governor was supposed to do it in his first confrontation with Rick, but no, we can't have similarities now can we. Tyresse won't die here, it's Hershall, Neegan won't kill Glenn, he'll kill Tyreese or some nobody that people don't care about. Andrea won't be a total bad-ass, because that wouldn't be right. No, I will not let this go, they ruined my favorite character from the comics.

So back to Thanksgiving. The only thing I am thankful for *cue mushy music* is my lovely girlfriend, whom I am waiting for right now. She's still on her way back to the college and it's 10:03 right now, and I don't care what time it is when she gets here, I am going to see her tonight.

See, J-Law understands

I don't have much of anything else to talk about, so here - have a video - next time is the final part of "a brief history of my life." That should be up by the end of the week, time permitting. Farewell.

Return from Impromptu Hiatus

and now I'm back, from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...

I feel the need to explain away my temporary hiatus. Simply put, I met a girl, and I have been spending a lot of time with her, basically all of my time. She is away right now, and my classes are cancelled - due to professor illness (get well soon Carter, you're the literal man), so I have even more free time on my hands today. Also, I am totally cuddling the pillow she left in my room this morning, it smells like her, and it's lavender and fuzzy and soft and I love it.

So here I am, sitting on my bed, unable to break this smile, cuddling a fuzzy lavender pillow. I would post a picture, but the levels of judgement may increase with visual proof. To explain this drastic change in my opinions on the world, I will need Ron Swanson's help.

Before I met her, I was this Ron Swanson:

And now that I am with her, and growing evermore fond, I am this Ron Swanson:

I haven't been this happy in years, perhaps in my entire life. This sense of euphoria in inexplicable, incomprehensible, I just don't understand it. All I know is:

I am writing way too little, and posting way too many GIF's. But seriously guys, this girls is just amazing, absolutely, irrevocably amazing. She loves Doctor Who you guys.

She has described her Who addiction as a "serious issue," and that's just my kind of woman. Of course I watch anything and damn near everything. Hell, I'm watching American Horror Story: Coven right now. That's the thing though, now that I am spending so much time with her, I have precious little time to get through my shows, so my Television addiction has become a slight problem - I was only able to watch three shows last night, of the twelve I normally do. I've already cut a few shows from my list, the ancillary one's I do not care about. As in The Voice, Bar/Tattoo Rescue, The Goldbergs, Mom, Dads, The Millers, the Tomorrow People, and now Super Fun Night. But in all honesty, I don't mind at all, it's time better spent, and I'm thankful for it. However, she has stalled my progress with Arrow, and it only upsets me because Arrow is such a goddamn good show, but I'll finish it Thanksgiving break next week, so no worries there. I don't regret a single second of  all the time spent with her.

Shit. Is this coming off too strong?

my apologies people, but I've never really been in a place like this, where all I want to do is rant and rave about how goddamn happy I am. So this Friday, the midnight movies are The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The Delivery Man, and Thor: The Dark World. My choice would have to be Catching Fire, primarily for my love of Jennifer Lawrence, but also because Jennifer Lawrence. J-Law (she lets me call her J-Law, we go way back), even knows how I feel about this girl I've been talking about, in both the innocent school yard crush words, and more... not so innocent words.

So, anyways, I have to ask her if she is willing to go see it or not, which also means we have to watch the first Hunger Games, that is, if she wants to watch it that is. Otherwise, I'll just be going with my suite mate as per usual.

In other news. The fifteenth of November happened, which means, PlayStation 4.

The world's quickest un-boxing.

                           

 The world's quickest set up.

There you have it, my PS4 in all of it's glory. The only real downside to it at the moment is that it will not play dvd's or blu-ray movies. Games run fine, and so does Netflix. But even after the past two software I still cannot play dvd's - I'm hoping it's not a hardware issue, but if the problem persists, I'll trade it back in, they are apparently really fast with returns, but I'll probably wait until I'm done with finals week to send it back, just to give it some time, in case it is just a software issue.

That is all. Blog over, get the hell out. But watch this video first:

12 Years in the Dark World : the GIFtastic Blog Post

See what I did there? With the title? I combined 12 Years a Slave with Thor: The Dark World. I bet you wish you were that clever.

Truth be told I recently watched this episode and then went right out to find this gif. Then I found this:

and then I said "this is totally going in my blog!"

So, this past weekend I saw both of these fantastic movies. Fantastic in their own merits, one was your typical Hollywood blockbuster, and as an avid comic book viewer/reader/scholar I just love these movies for all the right (wrong?) reasons. But let's discuss Thor first, and then tackle the big bad 12 Years.

Oh yeah, Spoilers.

First things first, Thor: The Dark World is the better film of the two Thor movies so far. For quite a few reasons too. Now to list them, for your viewing pleasure:

1. An increased strong female presence 
2. Not too much Loki, with the set up to a more Loki centered Thor movie, or even Loki spinoff
3. A good balance of action and comedy
4. Guardians of the Galaxy teaser

And now to tackle each of these points, one by one. First, the increased strong female presence. Natalie Portman's Jane Foster, is a integral part of the narrative, and she isn't just the damsel in distress archetype or the throwaway love interest she came off as in the first film. She, like Pepper did in Iron Man 3 helps to vanquish the "big bad" in the films climax, only not actually defeating him like Pepper did. It, in my opinion, is the single strongest role a female has had in the marvel movies, let alone a comic book movie, arguably second to Black Widow. She even slaps Loki, the villain of both Thor and The Avengers.

Help, it's mesmerizing. I think this proves that slap GIF's are the best GIF's.

and now... a few more slap GIF's to prove this irrefutable fact:

Kat Denning's character from the first film also has a larger presence, though not as huge. Lady Sif (and the Warrior's Three) and Frigga even take side seats despite being the bad-asses they are, this movie is more a Jane/Thor/Loki triple feature, and I loved every minute of it. If this is any indication of the way women character are going to be treated in these movies, the future looks bright. Now if only they'll give me a female super hero movie, I fear we may never get a solo Wonder Woman picture, at least there's that Netflix series on Jessica Jones coming soon (2015 soon).

Lookie, I has a source.

Now for point two, there wasn't too much Loki in it. He wasn't overused or over done. While this may upset the fan girls/boys I have no complaints. Hell, the conclusion of the film hints that Loki may get the focus of Thor 3 or even his own Spinoff movie. A boy can dream right? The good balance of action and comedy point sort of speaks for itself, as does point four. The first post credits scene is a tease for the upcoming 2014 Guardians of the Galaxy film which is going to be amazing guys, for serious.

The final fight sequence in particular constantly flips from comedy to action, seamlessly merging the two into one sequence without one overpowering the other. Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir, is thrown at some point in the conflict and several minutes of the ensuing fight is spent thinking with portals.

Thor goes through the portal narrowly missing the hammer, transporting himself across the universe, the hammer misses the portal and chases after him through space. Thor goes through another portal back to Earth and the hammer turns back around to get to Thor. It's the perfection of comedic timing.

As far as the stuff I didn't like, and the reasons why I'm going to deduct some points. are the points where they stray too far from their source material that the Thor movie universe is too dissimilar to the (at least current) comic universe. Frigga dies in the movie, and it is assumed that Loki even kills Odin, leaving himself in charge of Asgard. In the comics Frigga, following Odin's death, takes over rule of Asgard, and Frigga is a straight up bad-ass. But they went and killed her off, leaving little to no possibility (magic aside) of her taking over Asgard. It is because the world may never know the full extent of Frigga's bad-assery that I am deducting a few points.

Thor: The Dark World gets an 8.5/10

No list for discussion on this film, not because it was a bad film, no, in no possible ways was this a bad film. It was most certainly "The best" film I've seen this year. Visually this film has no equal yet, this year. This blows Prisoners out of the water, and remember how much I loved the visual aesthetics of that film. But seriously, if 12 Years a Slave were food, I wouldn't want to share it. I wouldn't want to share it so much, I'd become Joey Tribbiani.

That's how good this movie is. The shot's in it alone are masterfully crafted. As one would come to expect from Steve McQueen, whom in my opinion is one of the world's greatest living director's. So it's no real surprise that I loved this film. There's one shot in particular that alone deserves an Oscar. Just give it to someone for Pete's sake (and he returns, damn you Pete), if this gets snubbed I will lose all faith in the academy, all my faith.

The shot occurs when the films protagonist is left hanging in a tree, with his feet touching the ground. The camera remains in one place, as he hangs there, slowly shuffling his feet and spinning ever so slightly around. All this while time elapses in the background as if nothing happens. It's so physically painful to watch.

I seriously had trouble getting comfortable watching the movie. Not because the film made me necessarily uncomfortable, but because it basically rendered me unable to move. Which is apparently a thing. It's not a bad thing mind you, it's actually a good thing if I say so myself. Really it is, I just had to wait for scene transitions in order to adjust my position because I was so damn engrossed in the text of the film, which hasn't happened in quite a long time (the last time being with Fincher's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo a few years back - which reminds me, Fincher, get on board with The Girl Who Played with Fire already). I still prefer the lighting of Prisoners to the lighting of 12 Years. Prisoners visually, in a lighting manner, is superior to 12 Years, that is likely because 12 Years goes for a "natural lighting" aesthetic to add more grit to it. Prisoner's is clearly key lit, in most of it's shots, a few remain without major lighting whatsoever, but that is all for the effect of that shot. I still love you Roger Deakins, but Bobbitt (12 Years' cinematographer) and McQueen are absolute master's of the craft.

There isn't much more I can say on 12 Years because I really don't want to spoil the plot - unlike Thor which I don't really care about spoiling. The performances are excellent across the board, even the minor roles are fantastic. Go see it. Now. Go. Like seriously. Go.

12 Years a Slave gets a 10/10

So, fun story. Friday night, technically Saturday morning, after watching Thor, my suite mate - the one who plays all the call of duty, is incredibly socially awkward, and is annoying, posted the following status on his Facebook: "It's sad to say this is my last night here at the college. And I still can't bring myself to terms to tell my roommates the news..." In confusion I went to tell my other suite mate about said Facebook status, I then went to go to bed. Roughly twenty minutes later, the two of them were talking in his room (the annoying one's room), which is next to mine, and I went out to see. He apparently wasn't doing too hot, no real surprise considering all he did was play video games, but seriously, he wasted nearly two and a half years of his life - he was a Junior. How the fuck can you be so irresponsible. Honestly.

College, as far as I have experienced, is not tough. It's not challenging. Especially when you don't do the party scene like I do. He even did less than I do outside of the dorm. I mean it's general knowledge...

... that you shouldn't play video games for ten hours a day every day, adding extra hours on weekends. It's just not good for you. Sure it's fun. But it's not fucking worth it. Especially when you've just managed to accrue quite the debt, that will most likely befall on your parents, because you lack the education to get a more respectable job, and you lack the social skills to get a "lesser" job. But come on man, it's just so damn stupid, I cannot believe your mom is okay with this, and I hope you do read this because someone needs to tell you that you are making a huge fucking mistake. For all the times I was picking on you, I apologize, but know man, that you needed help and that's sort of a form of correctional education. You pick on someone for doing something until they stop doing that thing. Yes, it's bullying, yes it was done to me, yes I stopped. But man, you can't even order your own food. You can't call a goddamn pizza place, say I want a large cheese pizza, and deliver it to Town Home X, thanks, bye, click. How in the world are you going to last in the real world on your own. I'm assuming you aren't. I'm assuming that you will be living with your parents for the foreseeable future. Which is fine, as I will be doing that until I get a car, then I'm moving as soon as possible, but I'm also assuming this will be rent free. Which isn't fine.

In ways I'm glad he's gone. In others, I'm not. He still needs help with his social skills, and it's clear by the way he is, he isn't getting that from his home. But I figured that I would wake up at noon with time to say good bye to him, considering he was still awake at three in the fucking morning. But no, noon comes along and he's gone. He did leave me a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips. Which were delicious. Thank you. But still you're stupid.

I have no choice to digress or this is going to last forever. You want to ruin your life, because you don't want to do the college thing anymore, fine by me, I'm not going to stop you. I just hope you manage to develop proper social skills and do well out there. Good luck, you're going to fucking need it.

I apologize to my other two suite mates, you are not idiots. This is directed to the drop-out and the people enabling him.

Hell, I am a firm believer of live and let live, but I'll be damned before I let this slide without my opinions being put out there somewhere so that there's a chance for the immediate party to see what I have to say. But this is so fucking stupid, I can't bring myself to get over it. It's like he came here for two and a half goddamn years, just to sit on his fucking ass and do nothing, all while thinking he was just going to slide right on through college. How fucking stupid can you be. GOD. I quit. I give up. I give the fuck up.

I apologize to the haters of the word "fuck." Please understand that it is a brilliant word that can be used in so many ways. It is perhaps the most versatile word in the human language. As someone who does not subscribe you a dogma, I don't believe in the concept of "Curse Words" or "Dirty Words." 

I'm just going to end this here, because honestly if I continue, it's just going to go right on back to my rant about how stupid he was for leaving. So here's a video on the aforementioned "F" word. If it offends you, you may not want to watch it. If it doesn't, then play the fucking video for fuck's sake, what the fuck are you waiting for.