12 Years in the Dark World : the GIFtastic Blog Post

See what I did there? With the title? I combined 12 Years a Slave with Thor: The Dark World. I bet you wish you were that clever.

Truth be told I recently watched this episode and then went right out to find this gif. Then I found this:

and then I said "this is totally going in my blog!"

So, this past weekend I saw both of these fantastic movies. Fantastic in their own merits, one was your typical Hollywood blockbuster, and as an avid comic book viewer/reader/scholar I just love these movies for all the right (wrong?) reasons. But let's discuss Thor first, and then tackle the big bad 12 Years.

Oh yeah, Spoilers.

First things first, Thor: The Dark World is the better film of the two Thor movies so far. For quite a few reasons too. Now to list them, for your viewing pleasure:

1. An increased strong female presence 
2. Not too much Loki, with the set up to a more Loki centered Thor movie, or even Loki spinoff
3. A good balance of action and comedy
4. Guardians of the Galaxy teaser

And now to tackle each of these points, one by one. First, the increased strong female presence. Natalie Portman's Jane Foster, is a integral part of the narrative, and she isn't just the damsel in distress archetype or the throwaway love interest she came off as in the first film. She, like Pepper did in Iron Man 3 helps to vanquish the "big bad" in the films climax, only not actually defeating him like Pepper did. It, in my opinion, is the single strongest role a female has had in the marvel movies, let alone a comic book movie, arguably second to Black Widow. She even slaps Loki, the villain of both Thor and The Avengers.

Help, it's mesmerizing. I think this proves that slap GIF's are the best GIF's.

and now... a few more slap GIF's to prove this irrefutable fact:

Kat Denning's character from the first film also has a larger presence, though not as huge. Lady Sif (and the Warrior's Three) and Frigga even take side seats despite being the bad-asses they are, this movie is more a Jane/Thor/Loki triple feature, and I loved every minute of it. If this is any indication of the way women character are going to be treated in these movies, the future looks bright. Now if only they'll give me a female super hero movie, I fear we may never get a solo Wonder Woman picture, at least there's that Netflix series on Jessica Jones coming soon (2015 soon).

Lookie, I has a source.

Now for point two, there wasn't too much Loki in it. He wasn't overused or over done. While this may upset the fan girls/boys I have no complaints. Hell, the conclusion of the film hints that Loki may get the focus of Thor 3 or even his own Spinoff movie. A boy can dream right? The good balance of action and comedy point sort of speaks for itself, as does point four. The first post credits scene is a tease for the upcoming 2014 Guardians of the Galaxy film which is going to be amazing guys, for serious.

The final fight sequence in particular constantly flips from comedy to action, seamlessly merging the two into one sequence without one overpowering the other. Thor's Hammer, Mjölnir, is thrown at some point in the conflict and several minutes of the ensuing fight is spent thinking with portals.

Thor goes through the portal narrowly missing the hammer, transporting himself across the universe, the hammer misses the portal and chases after him through space. Thor goes through another portal back to Earth and the hammer turns back around to get to Thor. It's the perfection of comedic timing.

As far as the stuff I didn't like, and the reasons why I'm going to deduct some points. are the points where they stray too far from their source material that the Thor movie universe is too dissimilar to the (at least current) comic universe. Frigga dies in the movie, and it is assumed that Loki even kills Odin, leaving himself in charge of Asgard. In the comics Frigga, following Odin's death, takes over rule of Asgard, and Frigga is a straight up bad-ass. But they went and killed her off, leaving little to no possibility (magic aside) of her taking over Asgard. It is because the world may never know the full extent of Frigga's bad-assery that I am deducting a few points.

Thor: The Dark World gets an 8.5/10

No list for discussion on this film, not because it was a bad film, no, in no possible ways was this a bad film. It was most certainly "The best" film I've seen this year. Visually this film has no equal yet, this year. This blows Prisoners out of the water, and remember how much I loved the visual aesthetics of that film. But seriously, if 12 Years a Slave were food, I wouldn't want to share it. I wouldn't want to share it so much, I'd become Joey Tribbiani.

That's how good this movie is. The shot's in it alone are masterfully crafted. As one would come to expect from Steve McQueen, whom in my opinion is one of the world's greatest living director's. So it's no real surprise that I loved this film. There's one shot in particular that alone deserves an Oscar. Just give it to someone for Pete's sake (and he returns, damn you Pete), if this gets snubbed I will lose all faith in the academy, all my faith.

The shot occurs when the films protagonist is left hanging in a tree, with his feet touching the ground. The camera remains in one place, as he hangs there, slowly shuffling his feet and spinning ever so slightly around. All this while time elapses in the background as if nothing happens. It's so physically painful to watch.

I seriously had trouble getting comfortable watching the movie. Not because the film made me necessarily uncomfortable, but because it basically rendered me unable to move. Which is apparently a thing. It's not a bad thing mind you, it's actually a good thing if I say so myself. Really it is, I just had to wait for scene transitions in order to adjust my position because I was so damn engrossed in the text of the film, which hasn't happened in quite a long time (the last time being with Fincher's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo a few years back - which reminds me, Fincher, get on board with The Girl Who Played with Fire already). I still prefer the lighting of Prisoners to the lighting of 12 Years. Prisoners visually, in a lighting manner, is superior to 12 Years, that is likely because 12 Years goes for a "natural lighting" aesthetic to add more grit to it. Prisoner's is clearly key lit, in most of it's shots, a few remain without major lighting whatsoever, but that is all for the effect of that shot. I still love you Roger Deakins, but Bobbitt (12 Years' cinematographer) and McQueen are absolute master's of the craft.

There isn't much more I can say on 12 Years because I really don't want to spoil the plot - unlike Thor which I don't really care about spoiling. The performances are excellent across the board, even the minor roles are fantastic. Go see it. Now. Go. Like seriously. Go.

12 Years a Slave gets a 10/10

So, fun story. Friday night, technically Saturday morning, after watching Thor, my suite mate - the one who plays all the call of duty, is incredibly socially awkward, and is annoying, posted the following status on his Facebook: "It's sad to say this is my last night here at the college. And I still can't bring myself to terms to tell my roommates the news..." In confusion I went to tell my other suite mate about said Facebook status, I then went to go to bed. Roughly twenty minutes later, the two of them were talking in his room (the annoying one's room), which is next to mine, and I went out to see. He apparently wasn't doing too hot, no real surprise considering all he did was play video games, but seriously, he wasted nearly two and a half years of his life - he was a Junior. How the fuck can you be so irresponsible. Honestly.

College, as far as I have experienced, is not tough. It's not challenging. Especially when you don't do the party scene like I do. He even did less than I do outside of the dorm. I mean it's general knowledge...

... that you shouldn't play video games for ten hours a day every day, adding extra hours on weekends. It's just not good for you. Sure it's fun. But it's not fucking worth it. Especially when you've just managed to accrue quite the debt, that will most likely befall on your parents, because you lack the education to get a more respectable job, and you lack the social skills to get a "lesser" job. But come on man, it's just so damn stupid, I cannot believe your mom is okay with this, and I hope you do read this because someone needs to tell you that you are making a huge fucking mistake. For all the times I was picking on you, I apologize, but know man, that you needed help and that's sort of a form of correctional education. You pick on someone for doing something until they stop doing that thing. Yes, it's bullying, yes it was done to me, yes I stopped. But man, you can't even order your own food. You can't call a goddamn pizza place, say I want a large cheese pizza, and deliver it to Town Home X, thanks, bye, click. How in the world are you going to last in the real world on your own. I'm assuming you aren't. I'm assuming that you will be living with your parents for the foreseeable future. Which is fine, as I will be doing that until I get a car, then I'm moving as soon as possible, but I'm also assuming this will be rent free. Which isn't fine.

In ways I'm glad he's gone. In others, I'm not. He still needs help with his social skills, and it's clear by the way he is, he isn't getting that from his home. But I figured that I would wake up at noon with time to say good bye to him, considering he was still awake at three in the fucking morning. But no, noon comes along and he's gone. He did leave me a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips. Which were delicious. Thank you. But still you're stupid.

I have no choice to digress or this is going to last forever. You want to ruin your life, because you don't want to do the college thing anymore, fine by me, I'm not going to stop you. I just hope you manage to develop proper social skills and do well out there. Good luck, you're going to fucking need it.

I apologize to my other two suite mates, you are not idiots. This is directed to the drop-out and the people enabling him.

Hell, I am a firm believer of live and let live, but I'll be damned before I let this slide without my opinions being put out there somewhere so that there's a chance for the immediate party to see what I have to say. But this is so fucking stupid, I can't bring myself to get over it. It's like he came here for two and a half goddamn years, just to sit on his fucking ass and do nothing, all while thinking he was just going to slide right on through college. How fucking stupid can you be. GOD. I quit. I give up. I give the fuck up.

I apologize to the haters of the word "fuck." Please understand that it is a brilliant word that can be used in so many ways. It is perhaps the most versatile word in the human language. As someone who does not subscribe you a dogma, I don't believe in the concept of "Curse Words" or "Dirty Words." 

I'm just going to end this here, because honestly if I continue, it's just going to go right on back to my rant about how stupid he was for leaving. So here's a video on the aforementioned "F" word. If it offends you, you may not want to watch it. If it doesn't, then play the fucking video for fuck's sake, what the fuck are you waiting for.